Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems

Tech and Science

Tech and Science
Joe Ditzel

How To Cool Down A Laptop Computer Before It Catches on Fire

Have you ever worked on your laptop laying on the couch with it resting on your stomach? Slowly you realize it is burning a hole in your body.

 

1. Get a meat thermometer that will monitor the temperature. Put it in the DVD drive. 

 

2. Shut down thirty or forty of the seventy-three windows you have open.

 

3. Buy a small cooling fan on the table next to the couch and point it at the laptop.

 

4. If it is still hot buy a box fan and point it at the laptop.

 

5. If the laptop still feels hot get a tower fan and set it up to blow directly on the monitor. Leave all the fans blowing at once.

 

6. You may still need cooling power. Knock a hole in the wall and install a fan used by car-makers to test wind dynamics on new models. Run the giant cord down the block and tap into the city power grid. It will start up slow but within 15 minutes your skin will be was pushed back against your face and papers will be flying all over the room. Crack a window to release some pressure.

 

 

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Tech and Science
Joe Ditzel

Tech Joke: Flat Tire

A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem.

The project manager said, “Let’s catch a cab and in ten minutes we’ll reach our destination.”

The computer programmer said, “We have the driver’s guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive.”

The computer operator said, “Let’s turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem.”

Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: “Try to close all windows, get out of the car, and then get in and try again.”

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Tech and Science
Joe Ditzel

Tech Joke: Mountain Road

A software engineer, a hardware engineer and their manager are in the car going to an industry convention in their rental car. To get there they must navigate a treacherous mountain road. While they are coming down a steep and narrow incline the car’s brakes go out. The car starts going way too fast and they all fear this will be the end of their lives. But somehow the driver manages to not careen off the road and they glide to a stop once safely down the hill.

They all get out and catch their breath.

The manager is first to speak, “Well, let me get my cell phone so I can call the tow truck to take it to the garage.”

The hardware engineer says, “No, no, no, just pop the hood and we can fix the problem ourselves.”

The software engineer says, “Guys, just wait. Before we do anything we should take it up the hill and see if it happens again!”

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