CDC Warns Against Eating Romain Lettuce After People Eating It Began Reciting Poetry

The Center for Disease Control issued a strong warning against eating Romain lettuce after it was linked to reports of people reciting boring poetry throughout the country.

CDC President Ecoli Outbrecht explained, “It’s hard enough to stay awake during good poetry, but bad poetry is a killer. That’s why when we discovered the positive relationship between people eating Romain lettuce and spouting off some of the worst poetry of the last 200 years, we had to take action.”