Country-wide instant replay to catch jerks immediately

I’m excited to announce I compiled enough signatures to get on the ballot for President of the United States. My platform includes a tech initiative I call Real Instant Replay.

Since there are cameras everywhere now, this advanced system allows you to pull up on your phone an instant replay of every infraction. Whether it’s the guy who cut you off, the person who stole your lunch from the office fridge, or the blowhard who interrupts you mid-sentence to talk about something completely different, lady justice will finally be served in slow motion. Now you have immediate proof they did it when they say, “Nuh-uh!”

If you’re looking for fresh ideas and effective leadership, I’d be honored to have your vote this November.

Paid for by Ditzel for President 2024