Crazy Uber stories: Alien agent
I buckled myself into the driver’s seat and prepared for another day as an Uber driver. The scent of fresh coffee wafted from my thermos, providing a much-needed energy boost to jump-start my shift.
“Alright, let’s do this,” I muttered, tapping the app on my phone to signal that I was officially available for rides. Within moments, my first request chimed in: Derek, just a couple blocks away. My curiosity piqued; it wasn’t every day you got a passenger named Derek. I accepted the request and set off.
As the sun peaked over the horizon, I pulled up to a quaint suburban home with a neatly trimmed lawn, where a man with a suitcase stood out front. He was tall, lean, and sported a mop of curly brown hair atop his head. Derek looked like the kind of guy who might have some interesting stories to tell. This could be a fun ride, I mused as he approached my car.
“Morning!” he said, flashing a smile as he slid into the backseat. “Thanks for picking me up!”
“Of course!” I replied, glancing at him through the rearview mirror.
How’s it going?” I said.
“Pretty good, I’m heading to the airport – got a flight to catch.”
“Airport it is,” I confirmed, shifting the car into drive and pulling away from the curb. As we embarked on our journey, I couldn’t help but notice how the morning sun cast a golden glow over the quiet suburban neighborhood. The streets were lined with charming houses adorned with freshly bloomed flowers, a sight that never failed to brighten my mood.
“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” I remarked, glancing at Derek through the rearview mirror. He nodded in agreement, his eyes taking in the picturesque scene outside.
“Absolutely! I love this time of year,” he said, leaning back against the seat.
As we continued our trek towards the airport, the landscape gradually shifted from quaint residential blocks to bustling commercial areas. We passed by small businesses and trendy cafes, their patrons sipping morning brews and chatting.
“Busy day ahead for you?” I said.
“Sort of,” Derek mused, his gaze fixed on the passing scenery. “I’m off to a conference for work, but I’m hoping to squeeze in some sightseeing too. Never been to Seattle before.”
“I’m sure you’ll have a great time there,” I said, navigating my way through the increasingly congested traffic.
“Thanks! I’m looking forward to it,” he said. As we neared LAX, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy for someone getting out of town. LA can wear on you.
“Ever been to one of these conferences?” I asked, glancing over at Derek as I deftly weaved through traffic.
“More than I can count,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “Sometimes they’re fun, but mostly it’s just a lot of schmoozing and pretending to be interested in the latest industry jargon.”
“Sounds thrilling,” I chuckled, making a sharp turn onto the highway entrance ramp.
“You should try being the one stuck in those meetings all day,” Derek said. “But at least there’s usually an open bar afterwards.”
“Ah, the silver lining,” I said, merging onto the busy highway.
“Exactly!” Derek exclaimed, grinning.
“Speaking of Uber rides,” Derek began, adjusting his seatbelt. “I had the craziest experience last year on my way to a conference in Vegas.”
“What happened?”
“Alright, buckle up for this one,” Derek said, shaking his head. “I got picked up in what looked like a regular car, but the driver… man, he was out of this world.”
“Go on, I’m all ears,” I said. I shifted my focus between the road and him.
“Okay, so this driver, right? He had this bizarre accent that I couldn’t quite place, but he was really friendly. Like, too friendly.”
“Too friendly?”
“Like, he’d laugh at anything I said, even when it wasn’t remotely funny. But that’s not even the weirdest part.”
“Hit me with the weirdness.”
“His car… It was like something straight out of a sci-fi movie. It had all these glowing buttons and switches that I’d never seen before!”
“Whoa.”
“Right? And there was this faint humming noise coming from somewhere inside the car,” Derek continued. “At first, I thought it was just the engine, but then I noticed it would change pitch whenever he pressed one of those funky buttons.”
“Wild! So, how did the ride end?”
“Here’s where it gets even crazier. As we approached the airport, the car started to lift off the ground!”
“Serious?”
“Dead serious,” Derek. “The car just… floated right up into the sky! It was the most insane thing I’ve ever experienced!”
“Woah. That’s nuts.”
“Tell me about it,” Derek laughed, running a hand through his hair. “I swear it’s true.”
“The driver, man… he was something else,” Derek continued.
“How?”
“Picture this: green skin, huge eyes, and tentacle-like things for hair.”
“Get out of here!”
“Swear on my life,” Derek said. “Anyway, we started driving and everything seemed normal until he pressed one of those funky buttons on the dashboard.”
“Buttons?”
“Yep! Suddenly, the whole car transformed around us. It was like being inside a spaceship!”
“Insane,” I said, as the city skyline blurred past us as we sped towards the airport.
“Before I knew it, we were cruising through space, dodging asteroids and even having a close encounter with a comet!” He said, gesturing wildly to emphasize the epic action of his adventure.
“Space? Really?”
“Trust me, I couldn’t believe it either. But there I was, strapped into my seat, watching the stars zoom by.”
We drove in silence for a moment. Sometimes as an Uber driver you wonder if your passenger has lost his marbles. I still couldn’t decide.
“Alright, so what happened next?” I said.
“So there I was, floating among the stars when suddenly, we were attacked!”
“Attacked? Wait, what?”
“Space pirates!” Derek said with a grin. “They swooped in, guns blazing, and boarded our vehicle.”
“Space pirates?”
“Yep, they were after some kind of cosmic treasure hidden inside the Uber-spacecraft. My driver wasn’t going to let them have it without a fight.”
“Of course not,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.
“An epic battle ensued, right there in the cockpit!” Derek said. “Laser beams flying, punches thrown, and all while we were hurtling through space at breakneck speed!”
“Wow…”
“Eventually, we managed to send those space pirates packing. But not without some damage to our spacecraft.”
“Damage?” I said, imagining my own car riddled with laser holes.
“Nothing too serious. Just enough to make re-entry into Earth’s atmosphere a bit… dicey.”
“Re-entry?”
“Yup! We plunged back towards Earth, flames licking the outside of our craft as we hurtled towards the ground. At the last possible second, my driver pulled up on the controls and we leveled out, just inches above the treetops.”
“Unbelievable,” I said, my heart pounding.
“Tell me about it,” Derek agreed, shaking his head. “Turns out, my driver was an undercover extraterrestrial agent, tasked with protecting Earth from otherworldly threats. And that Uber-spacecraft? A disguise for his high-tech alien vehicle.”
“Undercover alien agent, huh?” I said, trying to keep the skepticism out of my voice.
“Hey, don’t look at me like that,” Derek chuckled. “I’m just telling you what happened.”
“Sure,” I replied, forcing a smile as I turned my attention back to the road.
“Look, I know it sounds crazy,” Derek said. “But it’s the truth. Besides, wouldn’t it be cool if it were true?”
“Definitely. But also terrifying.”
“Terrifying? Nah,” he waved off my concern. “My driver – the alien – saved the day and probably the whole planet! I mean, if anything, we should be grateful.”
“Grateful, right,” I said.
We pulled up to LAX and I dropped Derek off. I looked down at the controls of my Toyota.
Do you think Toyota makes a spacecraft version of the Camry?
