Difference Between Protestants and Catholics

Going to Catholic school for so many years, I never really knew Protestants until much later. So I researched the fundamental differences.Shoot me an email if I have any of this wrong.

(But really I just needed another way to make fun of growing up Catholic. )

1. Leadership

Protestants believe the Scriptures is the authority, the word of God.

Catholics believe the Pope is the main man. No Pope, no team.

Kind of like when LeBron James played for the Cavs. No LeBron, no championship.

2. Being Saved

Protestants believe there is nothing you can do to add or take away from God’s grace. It exists in totality. “Good works” are an extension of God’s existing grace and mercy, not the other way around.

Catholics believe you are potentially saved by observing and honoring sacraments and doing good works.

For example, at baptism you are absolved of your sins committed up to that point.

You may ask, “What sins can a baby commit before baptism?”

Have you ever smelled a baby that need changing?

It’s like seven months of dirty laundry doused in vinegar and kerosene.

After baptism, you have to do good works and adhere to the other sacraments. Good works include helping the poor, aiding the sick, and keeping your NFL betting under $10,000 a week.

3. Purgatory

There is no purgatory in Protestanism because all your sins are forgiven based on your faith in Jesus.

Catholics believe when you are faithful, you have to pay a debt for sin which means you may have to go to Purgatory. This is a “waystation” which helps cleanse your sins and get you right with God.

It’s like having a Catholic credit card—you still owe the debt even if your wife left with your neighbor and they stole your truck.

4. Who to Pray To

Protestants pray to one person, numero uno, God. No others.

Catholics can pray to a bunch of people, Mary, St. Peter, St. John…

Catholics have more St. John’s than Facebook has fake accounts. St. John the Baptist, St. John the Evangelist, St. John the Bookie, St. John the Tow Truck Driver, St. John the Golf Pro…

5. Single Entity

Protestants say your connection and faith with Christ Jesus is the most important thing, no matter who the current bishop or any church leader is at the time.

Catholics believe there is only one church under Rome through the Pope. And that is so all collections are channeled to the Pope because he has to pay for his tall hats.