Flush with art: A mansion with 10 bathrooms in the style of great artists
Welcome to the world’s most pretentious yet amusing real estate offering: a mansion where each bathroom is a tongue-in-cheek tribute to a famous artist. Let’s take a tour through these lavishly ludicrous lavatories.
Van Gogh’s Vertigo-Inducing Vanity
Van Gogh’s bathroom is a swirling, twirling mess – perfect for those who enjoy getting dizzy while brushing their teeth. The Starry Night-themed walls might make you feel like you’re spiraling into a post-impressionist vortex. And the sunflower-shaped faucet? It leaks more oil paint than water. Just don’t expect any ear-shaped soap – that’s where we draw the line.
Joan Miró’s Madcap Mosaic
Joan Miró’s bathroom is a chaotic jumble of shapes and colors that look like they were chosen by a toddler on a sugar high. The sink is a bizarre, unidentifiable object, and the taps are… well, good luck figuring that out. It’s less a bathroom, more an abstract puzzle that challenges you every time you need to wash your hands.
Jackson Pollock’s Splatter Stall
Jackson Pollock’s bathroom is your chance to contribute to a masterpiece, one splash at a time. The floor is your canvas, the shower your paintbrush. It’s a splatter artist’s dream – or a cleaning nightmare. Either way, you’ll never leave this room without adding your own personal touch, intentional or not.
Andy Warhol’s Commercial Commode
Andy Warhol’s bathroom is a shrine to consumerism, with soup can wallpaper and Marilyn Monroe shower curtains. It’s like showering in a pop art soup aisle. And yes, the toilet paper is printed with dollar bills – because nothing says ‘classy’ like literally flushing money down the toilet.
Rembrandt’s Dimly Lit Dungeon
In Rembrandt’s bathroom, you can barely see what you’re doing thanks to the moody, baroque lighting. It’s all about shadows and light, which is great for setting a dramatic mood but terrible for shaving. The ornate fixtures look fancy, but they’re really just a distraction from the fact that you can’t see your own face in the mirror.
Marc Chagall’s Fantastical Floatation Facility
Marc Chagall’s bathroom is like a fever dream with floating figures and animals on the walls. It’s charmingly whimsical or mildly unsettling, depending on your perspective. Brushing your teeth while a painted goat stares at you is an experience you won’t forget.
Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun’s Rococo Recess
Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun’s bathroom is so frilly and ornate, you might worry about breaking something if you sneeze too hard. The pastel colors and gold leaf might make you feel like French royalty, but good luck finding anything as mundane as a toilet roll holder amidst all the elegance.
Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec’s Cabaret Closet
Toulouse-Lautrec’s bathroom is a tribute to the seedy underbelly of Parisian nightlife. The Moulin Rouge wallpaper might inspire you to do the can-can while brushing your teeth. It’s perfect for those who like their morning routine with a side of absinthe and existential despair.
Mary Cassatt’s Maternal Nook
Mary Cassatt’s bathroom is so cozy and nurturing, you might forget you’re in a bathroom and not a nursery. The soft colors and fluffy towels are comforting, but the mother-and-child artwork might make you feel slightly judged for not washing behind your ears.
Salvador Dali’s Surrealist Suite
Salvador Dali’s bathroom is a trip – literally. With melting clocks and levitating toilets, it’s a plumbing nightmare masquerading as art. The surreal decor might make you question reality, but at least it’s a great conversation starter. Just don’t linger too long, or you might start believing you’re a melting clock too.
And there you have it: a mansion where art history meets bathroom humor. It’s the perfect home for anyone who loves art, or just loves to laugh at how seriously art takes itself. Either way, you’ll never look at a bathroom – or a famous painting – quite the same way again.
