High School Senior Accepted to Local Community College

High School Senior Accepted to Local Community College

Local high school senior Trent Diplomasmine was recently accepted to the local community college on the other side of town. He pointed to his high school record of average grades and excellent attendance at pep rallies as the source of his success.

“Look, you can do anything you put your mind to,” he told a press conference gathered in the high school wood shop where Diplomasmine made several excellent ashtrays over his high school career. “I worked hard, but I also had the unwavering support of my mama and Mr. Singleknuckle, my wood shop teacher and life coach.”

Diplomasmine plans to major in criminal justice science at the community college. “Right now there’s a lot of criminals and Democrats out there doing evil, and sometimes they are the same person,” he chuckled, looking at his mother, who hid a smile as she looked away.