How did these saints avoid getting booted from the church?

Saints have a reputation for being all saintly and stuff. But saints are humans, or were humans. They had the same foibles and flaws as the rest of us meat puppets.

For example, fourth-century Saint Augustine of Hippo was a playboy and bon vivant, running around with a bunch of girls before getting engaged and then he broke it off at the last minute.

Saint Mary of Egypt, also from the fourth century, bolted from home as a young teen, spending her days happily seducing straight-laced religious dudes. One time she seduced the entire crew of a ship. Hopefully, she got a discount on the fare.

Those are just two of the colorful characters in the halls of saints. Don’t forget:

Saint Snakeeyes (7th century). Invented dice and became so good at taking villager’s money, he was often chased out of town until he started the same con in the next village.

Saint Bustafine (11th century). After learning to sing hymns in her local cathedral, she began scatting rap-type lyrics over the top of the choir.

Saint Doubleshot (5th century). Often dead drunk while giving mass, he tried to change it from “changing Jesus’ blood into wine” to “changing Jesus’ blood into any one of our specials tonight – try our Flaming Bob Marley Shot for half price!”

Saint Tithescam (12 century). After collecting the tithes (10 percent) from his parishioners, instead of using it for the church, he spent it on ladies of ill repute, massive tower bongs and cocaine-laced parties that often ran right up until the first Mass on Sunday morning.

Saint Fingerintheair (4th century). One of the first truly rebel saints, she adorned her body with tattoos of Good Friday, Easter Sunday and her favorite specials at Buffalo Wild Wings.