How long-drive champ Martin Borgmeier helped me get my first hole in one

I created golf speed from the get go like he said and my body wrapped around itself 17 times. The paramedics came and their hats said Pretzel Golfer Unwinder Specialist. They sprayed me down with WD-40, grease and egg yolks and one of them pulled on my foot like a lawnmower. I unwound so fast I twisted in the opposite direction. They called a Life Flight helicopter and they unrolled me outside the chopper from 2000 feet and pulled me back up. A ball fell out of my pocket onto the green and rolled in for my first hole in one.