How to Snag You a Texan

Ok, so you want to fall in love with a Texan. Who knows why? Maybe you like that BBQ perfume she wears or perhaps you like having to climb a rope ladder to get into a guy’s truck. The heart wants what it wants.

Here are some quick tips on how to snag you a Texan.

1. Memorize the Texas state song.

Nothing will snag a Texan faster than if you can sing the state song at will.

Now many people think the state song is, “Texas, Our Texas.”

While that might be the official state song, normal Texans know it is Willie and Waylon’s “Mama, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys.”

2. Love their Texas cooking.

Both men and women in Texas love to cook, so if you are trying to snare one, make sure you LOVE their cooking.

When they throw down a huge plate of fried gizzards, boiled okra and calf fries in front of you, take a big swig of your Shiner Bock and say, “Woo hoo, I LOVE the way you cook gizzards, honey! Make sure I get seconds, now!”

3. Learn football plays.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, will impress your target Texan, both men and women, like knowing football plays. That’s because all Texas public school students must learn football strategy and tactics beginning in the 3rd grade.

Let’s say you are watching a Dallas Cowboys game with your romantic target. Say things like, “Wow, this is sad. The Cowboys keep going to the Flip Right Epson Printer 2000 47 Sheet Music Waggle Waggle Avengers Triple Bock play on second down and it’s not working!”

Or, “We have a dual-threat quarterback, a stop-everything offensive line, one of the best running backs in the league and receivers who could snag a fly out of the kitchen in mid-air with a pair of tweezers while keeping their eyes closed! So what’s the problem? We need a new coach, that’s what!”

That’s the kind of talk that will have you and your target Texan dancin’ and romancin’ in no time.