Jake Paul to Fight Woody Hayes’ at Caesar’s Palace
LAS VEGAS — YouTuber-turned-boxer Jake Paul has announced he will face off against the spectral presence of legendary Ohio State football coach Woody Hayes. The fight, sanctioned by the Paranormal Boxing Federation (PBF) and sponsored by Extra Eternal Energy Drinks, is set to take place February 1, 2025 at Caesar’s Palace.
The undercard? A seance performed live by Criss Angel, who promises to “summon a guy who owes me money.”
“I’m Ready to Make History”
Paul, clad in a robe emblazoned with “Logan’s Cooler Brother,” addressed the media with his usual bravado.
“People doubted me when I took on Anderson Silva. They doubted me when I fought Nate Diaz. They doubted me when I took on Mike Tyson. Now they’re doubting me again. Guess what? A ghost can still catch these hands,” Paul declared, shadowboxing for emphasis.
The fight rules are unorthodox. Hayes, a known disciplinarian even in the afterlife, has agreed to abide by “spirit-enhanced” boxing regulations, which include the ability to phase through punches and possess the referee in times of need.
When asked for comment, Paul’s coach said, “Jake’s been training hard against holograms of Joe Louis and Rocky Marciano. This is the natural next step.”
Woody Hayes: From Gridiron to the Ring
Hayes, who dominated college football with five national titles, has been keeping a low profile in the afterlife. However, he emerged from beyond to deliver a press conference via flickering lightbulbs and eerie whispers.
“If you think I’ll go easy on this TikTok twinkle-toes, you don’t know Woody Hayes,” the coach-turned-phantom rumbled, his voice seemingly emanating from a haunted microphone. “I’ll do to him what I did to Clemson in ’78—except this time, I won’t stop at one punch.”
Vegas oddsmakers are currently giving Hayes a slight edge, citing his “intangibility” and an uncanny ability to yell “Run it up the gut!” even when no one’s around.
Tickets and Pay-Per-View Details
Tickets for the event range from $50 for standing-room-only seats to $10,000 for the “Poltergeist VIP Experience,” which includes ringside ectoplasm ponchos and an autograph session with Hayes’ ghostwriter (pun intended).
The pay-per-view broadcast will be hosted by none other than Joe Rogan and the hologram of Howard Cosell, promising a commentary team as otherworldly as the bout itself.
Critics Speak Out
Not everyone is thrilled with the matchup. The Ohio State Alumni Association released a statement saying, “We feel this fight is beneath Coach Hayes’ legacy, but if he manages to KO Jake Paul, we’ll reconsider.”
Meanwhile, boxing purists are skeptical. “This is what happens when you let TikTok kids run the sport,” said an anonymous trainer. “What’s next, Logan Paul vs. the ghost of Mike Ditka?”
Final Thoughts
Love him or hate him, Jake Paul knows how to draw a crowd—and apparently, so does Woody Hayes from beyond the veil. Will Jake’s relentless showmanship conquer Hayes’ spectral discipline? Or will Woody remind the world why a Buckeye should never be underestimated?
