Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems With Headlines – Book

Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Corinna Kopf Calls It Quits on OnlyFans Following a Staggering $67 Million Success
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Boy accidentally topples 3,500-year-old jar to the ground, smashing it into thousands of pieces on museum visit
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Woman dies after getting caught in O’Hare airport’s baggage carousel in Chicago
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Las Vegas woman accused of shooting man unprovoked while naked in his apartment
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Man stuck in Houston flood at a Whataburger breaks out fishing pole and catches 20-inch bass
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Massive brawl onboard airliner shocks passengers, pilot decides on emergency landing
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Man dies after putting a live firework on his head during Independence Day celebration
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Neighbor sues homeowner whose WiFi he was “borrowing” when the owner added a password and denied him access.
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Giant python swallows an entire woman in Indonesia
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Chinese zoo faces criticism after dyeing Chow Chow dogs to look like pandas
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Cops arrest California man for absconding with the leg of a person killed in a train accident
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: On-duty police officer in uniform arrested for shoplifting at a sporting goods store. Taken to police station in their own cruiser.
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Man partied on unaware he had been shot in the head four days ago
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: “Man Missing After Falling Into Crack in the Earth”
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: New anti-aging drug for dogs expected to be available in two years
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Wild kangaroo captured after it escaped and knocked out a Canadian officer
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Woman takes concealed carry gun into MRI scan — machine magnetizes gun and fires bullet into her right buttock
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: A passenger on a Southwest Airlines flight opened the emergency door and climbed out on the wing
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Tempers flare and things get physical at Major League Pickleball today
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Scottish ultra-marathoner rides in a car for 50 miles of a race
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Trump’s own expert witness is not an expert
Headline I didn’t expect to see today: Horse gets loose and forces airplane to land at JFK