Last Minute Christmas Shopping

I overheard someone say, “Oh, I have to do some last minute Christmas shopping today”.

Last minute? On December 16th? That’s not last minute.

A true last minute shopper does not say “I have to do some last minute shopping.” Because last minute shoppers don’t think they are last minute shoppers. They just go out at 1130pm on Dec. 24 and start down their list. It is perfectly normal to them.

Statistically, 41 per cent of all Christmas purchases are made in the last eight days before Christmas. For the last minute shopper, 100% of all Christmas purchases are made in the last eight hours before Christmas.

Last minute shopping is shopping at 7-11 because it is the only store open and then trying to find something that would qualify as a Christmas gift. And failing.

“Merry Christmas! I got you a quart of milk.”

Last minute shopping is driving all the way to the airport because that is the only place with a gift shop still open and all you can find are souvenirs for the city you already live in.

“Oh, look, Joe got me a “Walking Tours of Los Angeles” map. Gee, I’ve lived here all my life. Thanks, Joe!”

Last minute shopping is driving to the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills because their men’s shop is open every day of the year. I needed a gift for my brother and bought the cheapest item there- a tie for $400.

Many internet sites offer ideas for last minute shoppers. It is not
officially last minute shopping if it can be delivered by mail. Last
minute means you have to go get it yourself. There is an internet site
called www.flooz.com that allows you to send gift certificates by e-mail. That still is not last minute shopping. If you could send the actual gift by e-mail, that would qualify.

Most last minute shoppers are guys. Consider this strategy if you totally screw up and can’t get to a store: give her a coupon for a future favor. For example, fire up the Paintshop Pro and draw a giant coupon. Write “This coupon good for one romantic dinner cooked by me”. Wrap it up extra nice and really sell the romantic aspect of it when she opens it. Then, hope she will completely forget about it and you won’t have to actually do it.

Yeah, right.

One strategy is to find something around the house and then present it as a gag gift. “Get it? It’s a big bottle of aspirin! Because I’m always a big headache for you! Ha ha!”

You might consider having a supply of generic gifts ready to go at all
times. Then you never have last minute shopping hassles. Here are some suggested items:

• brass candlesticks. These are also good for wedding gifts.
• a giant coffee table book on classic cars. Good for car buffs. Or
  friends in Detroit.
• 5 cartons of Top-Flite Golf Balls. For the golfer on the list. Can
  always use them yourself.

Why do you procrastinate? Because you’ve been busy buying stuff for yourself! Hey, when will there be sales like this again? I say, shop for yourself first. Save everyone else for last minute shopping. But get them something special-double AA batteries and beef jerky.