Light Up the Sky Like a Flame

Fame is diluted. It used to be you had to DO something- a skill, a talent- acting, singing, telling jokes, something- that you were famous for. Now you can be famous for being famous. So why don’t we just have awards for just being famous. The Fame Awards. We could have awards for:

• Best Famous for Being Famous
   
• Worst Parenting of A Child Star or Singer
   
• Best Use of Claiming 'Sexual Addiction' to Cover Getting Caught Cheating
   
• Best Use of Plastic Surgery to Try to Stay Relevant
   
• Best Use of AutoTune to Cover Lack of Singing Ability

Fame brings opportunity. One well known couple sold the photography rights to their newborn child for $4.1 million. It was Miss Piggy and Kermit.

And the services and companies favored by celebrities are themselves made special. I was in the Beverly Hills Courthouse. On the wall were 8 x10 glossies from Paris Hilton and others. One said "To the Beverly Hills Jail- you guys are the best- don’t hassle the Hoff- David Hasselhoff"

Famous people are above the rules. Recently a magazine said that "famous singer Madonna was allowed to circumvent rules and adopt a child from Africa." Really? Do they really consider Madonna a singer?

People want fame so bad they will confess to crimes they did not commit. Did you know 75 people came forward and confessed to the Nicole Simpson killing? Over 200 people claimed to have kidnapped the Lindbergh baby. However, nobody claimed to be the father of Natalie Sulman’s (Octomom) babies.

One study of middle schoolers asked if they would rather be “President of Harvard or Yale; the CEO of a big company like General Motors; a U.S. Senator; a Navy SEAL; and an assistant to a celebrity. Not a celebrity, but an assistant. “ The majority picked assistant to a celebrity! More middle school kids would forego becoming Barack Obama in favor of becoming assistant to Andy Dick.

Studies have shown “If you could wave a magic wand and make yourself smarter, stronger, more beautiful, or famous, which would you pick?" Most people pick fame.

Except in Ohio. They just want to be better bowlers.

One of the problems with celebrities is that we transfer expertise to them that they don’t possess. We listen to them on every topic under the sun even though they may not know anything about it. Here are some dumb things celebrities have said:

• “We've got to pause and ask ourselves–how much clean air do we need?” – Lee Iacocca
   
• "You can hardly tell where the computer models finish and the real dinosaurs begin." – Laura Dern, actor, about the special effects in the movie Jurassic Park.
   
• "The world is more like it is now then it ever has before." – Dwight Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States
   
• "When I see someone who is making anywhere from $300,000 to $750,000 a year, that's middle class." – Fred Heineman, former Republican representative from North Carolina
   
• "Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding." – Mickey Rivers, baseball player.
   
• "For most people, death comes at the end of their lives." – Radio broadcaster, UK
   
• "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." – Greg Norman, Golfer
   
• "The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." – Dizzy Dean, former professional baseball player
   
• "Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, ‘Thank God, I'm still alive.’ But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." – California Senator Barbara Boxer
   
• "We must succeed or we run the risk of failure."  – Dan Quayle
   
• "Solutions are not the answer." – Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

Just what I was thinking, Mr. President.