Los Angeles Details Plans to Build New Freeway System in Series of Tubes

Los Angeles mayor Eric Garcetti today announced Traffic Tube 2028, a multi-agency effort to build freeways in tubes directly between major buildings and destinations in Southern California. The 2028 designation signifies the new tube system is part of the city’s preparation to host the Olympics in 2028.

“We looked at many different plans to handle the increasing traffic load in Los Angeles,” the mayor said before a dozen or so reporters gathered outside City Hall yesterday. “There is no space on the ground to add freeways, Elon’s underground system is too limited at this point, and drone travel for people is not ready yet. At first we laughed at the a network of tubes stretching between Disneyland, Venich Beach, Hollywood and Downtown, but now it has emerged as the most cost-effective option.”

In the tube system, cars and trucks run on spiral tracks that throw them 200 mph in a corkscrew fashion. “The only downside we can see at this point is we expect a certain number of motorists to throw up on themselves due to the high-speed, spinning motion. We’ll have special cleaning crews available at each station and stop to handle issues,” said Los Angeles Head of Traffic and Special Cleaning Ivan Oohgrosswhatisthat.