Los Angeles Switches to Two Seasons

Out-of-towners have long scoffed at Los Angeles’ endless summer, saying they prefer “the seasons” back in Omaha. They will be comforted to know Los Angeles is slowly moving to a two-season model, not quite the four seasons so many people love, but a strong start.

“It’s been so cold the last few weeks, we started to get a lot of complaints from residents,” said Los Angeles Head of Weather Services Tom Cumulus. “Now that the cat is out of the bag, we can announce we are moving the city to a two-season year. Summer will run from July to November with very hot temperatures, while winter will run from December to June. Essentially what we will doing is expanding the traditional “June Gloom,” marked by overcast skies and cool temperatures, to the fill December to June time period.”

Lolly Gag, a local resident in the downtown area, wasn’t impressed. “Bring back the year-round temperature of 72 degrees!” she bellowed. In my day, we wouldn’t put up with this global warming and weather manipulation. Just keep things the same.”