Man in China eats 87 nails

 

A man in china ate 87 nails and seven push-pins. He was either really hungry, or shoplifting from the home store.

That was the appetizer. Later he ate a hammer, a hacksaw and a spicy Phillips-head screwdriver.

Doctors removed the nails, but the pushpins went through his system naturally.

“Ow!”

It took doctors several hours to remove all the nails. The lead surgeon said, “We nailed it.”

The good news is everything else in your day will seem fantastic after you pass seven push-pins through your system. I wonder if he insists on this kind of special diet when he goes out to dinner, “Um, are your push pins gluten-free?”

Some friends and family say the man is suicidal. Either that, or he has really bad eyesight. It’s interesting that he doesn’t eat screws or bolts. Very picky eater.

And did he or his wife cook the nails at all prior to eating them? “Oh, just give me the usual baked nails, honey, and, can you add some push-pins today?”

I think all nails should be edible. The rest of your house, too. Hungry? Just break off a piece of the doorknob. “Do you like the doorknobs, Jeff? Sally got them in Italy when we were there. Very expensive.”

Asked how nails and push-pins taste, the man said, “Like a Papa John’s pizza, but with a little flavor.”

Trump weighed in on the story on Twitter: “Another example of China ripping off America. I would have negotiated that he eat at least 125 nails, 28 push-pins and a MAGA hat.”