“Mean Girls” is back again? Cue the endless sequels
“Mean Girls” is being remade. You know what that means. Endless movie sequels. Get ready for:
1. Super Mean Girls: After a bizarre accident involving a meteor shower and a spilled latte, the Plastics gain superpowers. Regina George has telekinesis (but only for moving people down the social ladder), Gretchen Wieners can multiply herself (finally, she can be in all the cliques at once), and Karen Smith can now literally turn back time (but only uses it to extend weekends). They become the most feared clique in the galaxy, until a new girl with the power of empathy challenges their reign with kindness and understanding. Expect a showdown at the Spring Fling that’s less about dancing and more about dodging laser beams.
2. Mean Girls Justice League: In this crossover nobody asked for, the Plastics are recruited by a washed-up superhero team to boost their image. Regina becomes “The Queen Bee,” using her sass as her superpower; Gretchen is “The Gossip,” who can hear secrets from miles away; and Karen is “The Forecast,” who predicts (mostly wrong) future events. Together, they fight crime while maintaining a perfect manicure, but their biggest challenge is facing a villain who’s immune to their mean comments – “The Nicer.”
3. Mean Girls are Clueless: A time warp sucks the Plastics into the world of “Clueless.” Regina and Cher have a fashion face-off that nearly rips the space-time continuum, while Gretchen tries desperately to make “fetch” happen in the ’90s. Karen, meanwhile, is just confused. It’s a battle of wits, wardrobe, and who can give the most backhanded compliment.
4. Taylor Swift vs Mean Girls: Taylor Swift enrolls at North Shore High to research for her new album, “High School Drama.” The Plastics see her as their ultimate nemesis – a girl who can write a catchy song about them. Cue a series of misadventures as they try to sabotage her, only to inadvertently inspire her next hit single. The climax features an epic battle of the bands with Swift’s squad versus the Plastics’ newly formed girl group, “The Fetches.”
5. Jo Koy Has 8 Days to Roast Mean Girls: Comedian Jo Koy is mistakenly hired as a substitute teacher at North Shore High. He has eight days to prepare the least popular kid for a roast battle against the Plastics. Each day is a new lesson in comedy, confidence, and why you should never wear pink on Wednesdays. The final roast battle turns into a school-wide spectacle where the underdog’s wit triumphs over mean jabs.
6. Mean Girls Teach DeSantis How to Fake Smile: In this political satire, Governor Ron DeSantis, desperate to win the youth vote, enlists the Plastics for a crash course in being “relatable.” They teach him the art of the backhanded compliment, how to throw shade subtly, and, most importantly, how to fake a smile while plotting political domination. The final test? Surviving a high school debate where the students are as unforgiving as Twitter.
7. The Revenge of the Mean Girls: Years later, the Plastics are living average lives when a new generation of mean girls dethrones their legacy at North Shore High. Unable to accept this, they go undercover as teachers. Their mission: to take down these new mean girls using their old tricks. It’s a clash of old school vs. new school, with social media sabotage, sneaky Snapchats, and TikTok takedowns. But they soon learn that high school drama is best left to the high schoolers.
8. Ted Lasso Coaches Mean Girls: In a heartwarming yet ironic twist, Ted Lasso, the embodiment of positivity, becomes the new guidance counselor at North Shore High. His mission: to reform the Plastics with his relentless optimism. What follows is a series of hilarious and heartfelt lessons in kindness, teamwork, and why biscuits with the boss (or in this case, tea with the counselor) can be a game-changer. The Plastics struggle with the concept of “believe” but eventually start their own charity: “Fetch Funds for Frenemies.”
Each of these sequels takes the original “Mean Girls” concept and flips it on its head, adding a dose of the absurd, the fantastical, and the downright hilarious. Whether it’s facing off against Taylor Swift, learning the art of the fake smile in politics, or being coached by Ted Lasso, the Plastics are in for some crazy adventures.
