Mystical Mountain Mango Medley: A smoothie from a mountain guru
There I was, trekking through the treacherous terrains of Mount Mangolia, a mountain so obscure that even Google Maps throws its hands up and says, “You’re on your own, buddy.” Why was I there? Well, I heard a rumor that atop this mountain lived the legendary smoothie sage, Sir Sips-a-Lot. A man so dedicated to the art of smoothie-making that he once tried to blend a rock just to see if it would enhance the mineral content.
After days of climbing, I finally reached the peak. There, amidst a grove of mango trees (because why wouldn’t there be mango trees on top of a freezing mountain?), stood Sir Sips-a-Lot. His beard was as long as a CVS receipt and his robe looked like it was made from recycled yoga mats.
“Ah, young traveler,” he said, not even looking up from his ancient blender (which, by the way, was powered by a hamster running on a wheel). “You seek the secrets of the perfect smoothie?”
I nodded, catching my breath. “Yes, wise sage. Teach me.”
He handed me a glass filled with a golden liquid. “This,” he began dramatically, “is the Mystical Mountain Mango Medley. A smoothie so powerful, it can awaken your third eye… and probably your fourth and fifth ones too.”
I took a sip. It was… well, it tasted like mangoes. And coconut milk. And a hint of pretentiousness from that Himalayan pink salt.
Sir Sips-a-Lot leaned in, whispering, “The secret is in the hand-carved glacier ice cubes. And the chia seeds. But mostly the ice cubes.”
I left Mount Magnolia with a new smoothie recipe and a story so ridiculous, no one would ever believe it. But every time I make that smoothie, I chuckle and think of Sir Sips-a-Lot, probably still up there, trying to blend a cloud or something.
The “Mystical Mountain Mango Medley” Smoothie Recipe:
Ingredients:
- 2 ripe mangoes, peeled and pitted
- 1 cup of coconut milk
- A pinch of Himalayan pink salt (because regular salt is just too mainstream)
- 3 ice cubes (hand-carved from the glaciers of Mount Absurdia, if available)
- A sprinkle of chia seeds (for that extra crunch and to make you feel like you’re being healthy)
Instructions:
- Blend the mangoes and coconut milk until smooth.
- Add the Himalayan pink salt and ice cubes. Blend again.
- Pour into a glass and sprinkle with chia seeds.
- Sip and pretend you’re on a mountain somewhere.
