New Windows 10 Eliminates These Annoying Windows Problems

Get excited, Windows fans! Windows 10 is here!

Here are seven things that Windows 10 fixes from the previously underperforming, much-disliked Windows 8:

1. You no longer have to sing the “Happy Birthday” song to turn on the computer every day.

2. It is no longer necessary to dance a jig in order to open the Solitaire game.

3. With Windows 10, you don’t have to worry anymore about calling your mother-in-law in order to gain access to your e-mail.

4. With Windows 10, Windows users can forget all about the arcane practice of placing their eyeball against the computer screen in order to pass security clearance.

5. Windows 10 users can rejoice because they no longer have to rub their forearms really fast in order to develop enough heat to boot the operating system.

6. Windows 10 users are jubilant they no longer do they have to come up with quotes from “The Shawshank Redemption” every time they get on the Internet.

7. In the new Windows 10, you’ll be glad to know you don’t have to say a Pledge of Allegiance to Bill Gates every time you save a document.

These are just a few of the exciting changes Windows users are ecstatic about in the new Windows 10 operating system.