Shane Lowry Wins British Open in His Native Ireland; Immediately Crushed By Celebratory Home Crowd of 200,000 Other Guys Named Shane

Shane Lowry won the 2019 British Open today in his native country at Royal Portrush in Northern Ireland. He was immediately mobbed by a 200,000 fans all named Shane. They hoisted him to their shoulders and carried him 17 miles along the shores and rolling hills of the countryside, chanting the whole way, “He’s Your Shane! He’s My Shane! We’re Not Insane! Shane! Shane! Shane!”