Small meteorite crashes in suburbs, captured by ring doorbell
Shady Maple Estates, USA — A quiet cul-de-sac erupted in excitement last night when a meteorite the size of a bowling ball crash-landed on the perfectly manicured lawn of 48-year-old Jerry Smits. The cosmic event, which residents initially mistook for an Amazon delivery gone horribly wrong, was captured in stunning detail by Jerry’s Ring doorbell camera.
In the video, a bright flash streaks across the night sky before slamming into Jerry’s lawn with an audible thud, narrowly missing his decorative garden gnome, “Sir Gnomenclature.” Moments later, Jerry is seen stepping out in pajama pants featuring cartoon cats holding fishing poles. “Is this going to mess up the sprinkler system?” he asks, looking at the smoldering crater.
Neighborhood Reaction: From Awe to HOA
The Shady Maple Homeowners Association, known for its strict bylaws, immediately sprang into action, citing the Smits household for “unauthorized geological installations.” HOA president Linda Beasley issued a statement early this morning:
“We understand the novelty of extraterrestrial events, but we must uphold community standards. This meteorite is not on the approved landscaping list, which includes river rocks, mulch, and topiary animals shaped like local wildlife.”
When asked for comment, Jerry shrugged. “It’s a literal space rock. What am I supposed to do, ask NASA for a permit?”
Local Authorities Respond
Police and fire crews arrived on the scene shortly after the crash. Officer Todd Baker, who self-identifies as a “meteor enthusiast,” cordoned off the area with crime scene tape that read “Do Not Cross – Space Crime Scene.” He later confirmed, “We’re 99% sure this wasn’t aliens, but you can’t rule it out until you’ve checked for slime trails.”
The fire department hosed down the still-steaming meteorite while debating what to do next. Firefighter Mark “Sparky” DeLuca summed it up: “Our training didn’t cover what to do when the sky literally falls on someone’s lawn. So we Googled it.”
Experts Chime In
NASA scientists arrived at dawn, thrilled to find a genuine meteorite in a suburban neighborhood. “This rock has traveled millions of miles through space,” said Dr. Karen Lowell, holding a charred chunk. “And now it’s here, probably picking up crabgrass spores.”
However, amateur astronomer Chuck Perkins, a local conspiracy theorist, offered a competing explanation. “I’ve been saying for years: the moon is mad at us. First, we left our junk up there; now it’s throwing rocks at us like an angry landlord.”
Meteorite’s Fate Undecided
By mid-morning, Jerry had listed the meteorite on Facebook Marketplace with the caption: “Lightly used space rock. Might be haunted. No lowballers, I know what I’ve got.” As of this writing, the highest bid is $78 and a used Peloton bike.
Meanwhile, the HOA has escalated the issue, threatening to fine Jerry $200 a day unless the “unsightly crater” is filled in. Jerry, for his part, plans to fight the ruling. “If Linda wants to argue about what counts as ‘landscaping,’ she can talk to the rock from Mars,” he said, holding up a lawn chair and a cold beer.
As the neighborhood awaits further action, Linda Beasley has issued an emergency meeting notice. The meteorite will be discussed alongside agenda items such as “Mailbox Paint Guidelines” and “Who Keeps Putting Flamingos in Linda’s Yard?”
The meteorite remains the most exciting thing to happen in Shady Maple Estates since the infamous hot tub chlorine shortage of 2021.
Linda Beasley was last seen approaching the crater with a tape measure and a clipboard.
