Smash It

May 9, 1999 Joe Ditzel

I’ve been playing golf since I was three feet tall
Just a wedge and a putter I loved it all
Mama’s come to get me it’s time to go
I’ll be back tomorrow you just know

And still after all these years,
I can’t pitch, I can’t chip, I can’t putt at all
I only do one thing well
I smash the ball

Smash it [Repeat]

You hit it far, I’ll hit it farther than you
It’ll make you mad, oh you know it’s true
Don’t cry in your beer because your ball’s so near
And we could build a mall between our balls

You see, God gave me a gift
Said, Joe, let it rip
So I tee it high
And I let it fly
I can’t play at all
But I can smash the ball

Smash it [Repeat]

You’ll have the low score
Beat me by 10 or more
Tell everyone you know
That guy can drive for show but can’t putt for dough

But as you lay awake staring at the ceiling
You can’t shake those envious feelings
How does that guy get so much carry?
And eat up yards like Sanders Barry
I can tell you I don’t know at all
I just smash the ball

When you’re old and gray
You’ll think back to that sunny day
You watched my ball fly so high
And land so far you had to sigh

You’ll tell your buddies the whole story
The tall tale of long drive glory
You’ll tell them that poor guy couldn’t play at all
But he sure could smash the ball

Smash it [Repeat]