Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems

Hockey

Sports
Joe Ditzel

Press Spin

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again,

"Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in Toronto was either a Leafs or Jays fan.

What team, do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan." the child said.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Kid from Montreal Kills Beloved Family Pet."

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JokesUncategorized
Joe Ditzel

A True Canadian

It’s Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.

“No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.”

“This is incredible”, said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs and not use it?”

The neighbor says “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.”

“Oh … I’m sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?”

The man shakes his head “No, they’re all at the funeral.”

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