Chill Like Flint
I don’t think about the Hollywood Hills that much. They sit on the northern ridge of the flat expanse of
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Joe Ditzel
Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Los Angeles
Celebrities in Los Angeles: Short Story
Celebrities are common in Los Angeles. Angelenos are blasé around them. On the other hand, you can always tell people visiting from, say, Ohio. If they see a celebrity in a restaurant they speak in a I-think-I'm-whispering-but-I'm-really-yelling-so-loud-that-the-whole-restaurant-gets-quiet voice, "Hey, isn’t that Pee Wee Herman at the bar????!!!!"
Fire in the Sky
An earthquake hit the other day in LA. I woke up at 4 in the morning and my bed rolling like I was on a raft on the ocean.
I turned over and went back to sleep.
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Parking on P5
My office building has five levels of parking- P1 is the first level on down to P5. After work the other day I punched the “down” button and waited. Several people came up and each one also punched the already lighted button. I thought, “Hey, I’m glad you pushed that again. I couldn’t tell from the BRIGHTLY LIT button if it was already pressed.”
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On Your Left!
Vivian wanted to go to the beach. I didn’t. The problem is I burn easily. I got burned last week when I stood in front of the refrigerator light too long. I started peeling so bad I look like a character in Mission Impossible pulling off his fake face.
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What Do You Drive?
I’ve dated girls all over the land From Ohio to Pakistan Asian, Indian, one from France Good dates, bad dates,
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Porcelain Springs
"Hey, don’t drink that," my friend said as I filled a glass from the kitchen tap. "Our water is disgusting. Here, you can have this," she said as she handed me a bottle of Evian from the fridge.
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Alternative Comedy Night at the Comedy Store
Alexandra Karova brings her Alternative Comedy Night to the Comedy Store in Los Angeles. (10/7/97)
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