Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
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Another group of medical researchers just determined that a high fat diet is NOT linked to a higher risk for cancer. I never know what to believe. Still, if I get sick, I’m happy I can be sick at this time in history. I’ve been reading about the history of medicine and we don’t know how good we have it.
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I used to live in San Francisco. San Francisco is a walking town. People are serious about walking. The favorite business shoe style for men is black Gucci’s with Vibram soles. Women wear high heels with actual mountain climbing cleats in them. In addition, many people carry walking sticks along with their briefcases. It helps with balance and is useful in poking tourists who stand in your way in small groups bent over maps looking for the Coit Tower.
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Everywhere I go people ask me one thing: “Excuse me, do you work here?”
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I should have become a therapist. That’s a good job. You just listen to people drone on about their problems for an hour while you picture another $150 falling out of the sky.
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“Real men play blades”, said John Carling, Sr. as he hit balls at the Studio City Golf Range last week. “All these ‘game improvement’ clubs, hybrids, perimeter-weighting, cavity backs, all of ’em are crap. It’s just the golf industry coming up with new ways to make money. And most people fall for it. Hook, line and sinker!”
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A diet based on carrots is the recommended program at new website CarrotsOnly.com.
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“Can I get a haircut this afternoon?” I asked.
“Can you come back in half an hour?” the receptionist/cashier/gum chewer responded. “Varna can take you.”
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For about a year and a half I ate lunch every Thursday at the Friars Club in Beverly Hills.
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The epicenter of trendy LA is the Sky Bar. Every somebody and wannabe in town has traversed the wooden floors of this stylish outdoor bar at the Mondrian Hotel on the Sunset Strip.
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I live on the fourth floor of a four story luxury apartment building. By “luxury”, I mean the hot water is hot for more than 3 minutes.
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(This article was written just after the 9/11 tragedy.)
“Sorry about that,” a guy in a tuxedo and white scarf said after he bumped into me outside Caroline’s comedy club.
“This IS New York, right?” I asked our next cabbie.
“Yes, mon,” he said, smiling beneath a shock of dreads, showing two rows of gold and silver teeth, “the greatest city in the world.”
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Celebrities are common in Los Angeles. Angelenos are blasé around them. On the other hand, you can always tell people visiting from, say, Ohio. If they see a celebrity in a restaurant they speak in a I-think-I'm-whispering-but-I'm-really-yelling-so-loud-that-the-whole-restaurant-gets-quiet voice, "Hey, isn’t that Pee Wee Herman at the bar????!!!!"
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Jimmy shanked his tee shot into the woods. He pulled a second ball out of his jeans pocket with one smooth move.
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I was in an office supply store to buy a Quicken upgrade. I passed the digital (still) camera display. While I’ve wanted to get a digital camera for a while, the average prices are too rich for me.
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Vivian wanted to go to the beach. I didn’t. The problem is I burn easily. I got burned last week when I stood in front of the refrigerator light too long. I started peeling so bad I look like a character in Mission Impossible pulling off his fake face.
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