Joe Ditzel
Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Sports
Johnny Evers Says This is the Year for the Cubbies!
Johnny Evers Says This is the Year for the Cubbies!
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Was This Ump Hit With A Pitch On Purpose?
Hmm, did this team conspire to intentionally hit the umpire?
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The Most Beautiful Women In Golf
Who is your favorite of the most beautiful women in golf?
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Crazy Golfers
Crazy Golfers Golf is a game that will make you nuts. Over the years I’ve met all kinds of crazy
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The Perfect Sports Car For Deer Hunting
NFL player Josh Brown has a camo Porsche.
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Los Angeles Lakers and Dodgers to Merge
Internal battles, political clashes, high profile divorces and losing seasons have prompted the owners of the Los Angeles Dodgers and The Los Angeles Lakers to merge the two teams. The Los Angeles Lake-Dodgers will field a baseball team as well as a basketball team using the same players.
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TV Quote- Jack Handy- The Coach
I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
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Who Golfers Lie To About Their Score
Let’s be honest. Golfers like like a shag carpet. Here is who they lie to the most.
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How To Shoot A Golf Score of 59 Within One Week
Many golfers dream of shooting a life-time low score of 89, 79 and even 69. Here are 5 steps to go even lower- 59 for 18 holes of golf.
1. You will need to drive the ball regularly at least 395.5 yards. This is achieved by a much longer swing arc than your current swing. To achieve this you must buy (or borrow) some circus stilts and wrap them to your legs with duct tape.
2. Put your golf shoes on the end of the stilts for good stability and traction.
3. Attach a sturdy bungy cord to the end of your driver. This will allow you to reach the ball from the stilts.
4. Swing the club back with the bungy cord in a huge power arc. At the top of the backswing, "step into the shot" much like a baseball player, turn your hips and whip the bungy cord/club as hard as you can.
5. Keep your head down and follow through. The club will be travelling over 700 mph. When it comes through the ball there is a strong possibility it will come around and hit you in the head. For this reason you should wear a motorcycle helmet or NFL quality football helmet when using this method. A Chicago Bears helmet would be good because it is used to being abused. Add a world-class short game and putting skills and you will shoot 59 this week or within 10 days give or take.
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Are You An Angry Golfer?
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Aliens Land
Two aliens land next to a golf course. They see a golfer whack his ball off the tee and into the rough. Then they see him, cursing all the way, storm up to the ball and hack away with an iron until he finally gets the ball out of the rough. And straight into a sand trap. So they watch him as, still cursing and red faced, he marches into the sand trap and hacks away at the ball until finally he gets out of the sand trap and onto the green and finally into the cup.
Says one alien to the other: “That guy is really screwed now.”
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Corporate Entertainment- Joe Ditzel- Golf Comedian
Corporate Entertainment- Joe Ditzel- Golf Comedian
Joe Ditzel is perfect for entertainment for golf outings, banquets and conventions. As the author of "Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems on the Golf Course" and "Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems Remembering Golf Jokes" Joe will keep your group in stitches with his tales of life on the course. A long time hacker and lover of the game, Joe knows golf inside out. Audiences identify with his stories because they have all been there- slashing, hacking and four-putting their way through another broken round. Call 213-804-0105 or email [email protected] for booking availability.
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Joe has performed for thousands of audiences and looks forward to performing for your group.
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