Joe Ditzel
Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Work
Hot Things Hot
Wanda walked into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asked, “What is that?”
The store clerk responded, “It’s a thermos.”
“What does it do?”
The clerk said, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” Wanda bought one and took it to work the next day.
Her boss asked, “What is that shiny object?”
“It’s a thermos.”
“What does it do?”
“It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”
“What do you have in there?”
“Two cups of coffee and a popsicle.”
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Cookie
Today is the day! The Girl Scout Cookies are here! I get my cookies from coworkers. Last year they didn’t arrive until around 330pm. I didn’t eat lunch that day. I was so hungry I ate a whole box of samoas. My body started to shake. I walked around like Beavis with my shirt over my head muttering “more samoas”. I had to leave work and lie down for 35 days.
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I’m Depressed! I’m at the Beach!
If you are depressed, don’t post your beach photos to Facebook.
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Resignation Cake
Make a statement and resign by cake.
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Fun at Work
Automotive engineers have fun at work.
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Security Guard Messes Up Story
Late Friday security guard Leon Wellell began to tell his co-worker Randy Stiller about his days as a retail salesperson. Only minutes later his story got lost on a critical detail- the name of some Microsoft software.
The story started well enough: “I used to sell high end audio, you know, home entertainment and all that. Then computers came in big so I switched to that,” Wellell began.
“What year was that?” asked Stiller.
At this point Wellell’s narrative started to stutter.
“Well, it was the year Microsoft came out with that one software that was so popular.”
“Windows?”
“No.”
“Excel?”
“No.”
“Word?”
“No.”
“Powerpoint?”
“No.”
“What was it?”
“I don’t know.”
The two guards looked at each other for a moment and then returned to their paperwork.
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