Ten bad topical jokes I wrote in 1987
Ten bad topical jokes I wrote in 1987.
- “The movie ‘Wall Street’ came out this year with the famous line, ‘Greed is good.’ I tried that line at the buffet last night, and they still cut me off after my fifth plate.”
- “U2 released ‘The Joshua Tree’ this year. I bought a copy, but I’m still trying to figure out how to plant it and grow my own Bono.”
- “The first ‘Final Fantasy’ video game was released. They called it ‘Final’, but here we are, several sequels later. It’s like calling your last piece of chocolate ‘final’ and then raiding the fridge at midnight.”
- “The stock market crashed in October. I told my broker I wanted my portfolio to take a ‘dip’… I should’ve been more specific.”
- “The FDA approved Prozac this year. It’s an antidepressant. Side effects may include: dancing the Macarena three years too early.”
- “Michael Jackson released ‘Bad’ this year. Not to be outdone, I released ‘Mediocre’. It’s not charting as well, but my mom says it’s a hit.”
- “The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles made their debut. It’s a story about turtles trained in martial arts who love pizza. Or as I call it, ‘New York City.'”
- “The show ‘Full House’ premiered. It’s about a family living in a big house in San Francisco. Today, that house would be worth about… the GDP of a small country.”
- “Aretha Franklin became the first woman inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It’s about R-E-S-P-E-C-T time!”
- “Oliver North testified in the Iran-Contra affair. I tried using his defense when I forgot my anniversary: ‘I can neither confirm nor deny that I remembered.’ It didn’t go over well.”
