Texans’ JJ Watt Gets Engaged to Houston Dash Star Kealia Ohai

Yesterday JJ Watt announced his engagement to Houston Dash star Kealia Ohai. Watt has played defensive end for the Houston Texans since 2011 after playing college ball at Wisconsin. The 2017 Sports Illustrated Sportsperson of the Year, Watt captured the AP NFL Defensive Player of the Year Award in three of his first five years with the Texans. He was the first player in league history to rack up more than one 20+ sack seasons during their playing days, and holds records in Houston for forced fumbles and sacks.

Ohai began playing for the Dash in 2014 after her college career at the University of North Carolina, where she helped lead them to the NCAA Women’s Soccer Championship in 2012. At the 2012 FIFA U-20 Women’s World Cup, she notched the winning goal against Germany in the final match, the only time Germany allowed a goal during the tourney.

Congratulations to both athletes on their pending nuptials! Of course, no one knows if they plan to have children but the Texans are not taking any chances. A team spokesperson said, “We congratulate JJ and Kealia on their big announcement, and pledge to help support their children all along the way, especially if they decide to play in the NFL. JJ is family, and we like family to stick together. For that reason, we’ve already offered a $450 million contract with a signing bonus of $50 million to any of the kids that want to play ball for us in the not so distant future.”

On the soccer side, the Dash offered to give any of their children that plan to play pro soccer a lifetime contract worth $300 million, more than the franchise is worth today. A publicist for the Dash explained, “We don’t know if any of their kids will play soccer, but we want dibs on their playing contract! We recognize our offer is more than the team’s current value, so we plan on just turning over ownership to them once they sign with us.”