Texas Longhorns Mascot “Bevo” Runs for State Representative

Bevo, a 1600-pound Texas longhorn steer and beloved live mascot of University of Texas sports, announced today his candidacy for State Representative.

Bevo’s press relations officer said, “Bevo is tired of the gridlock, arguing, and general ineffectiveness in Washington. After careful consideration, he will be running for Texas State Representative to help get the country moving again. Bevo is counting on his strong name recognition and popularity with Texans to help get elected. Once in Washington, he will rely on his immense size and intimidating horns to make his fellow politicians do their jobs.”

Bevo is the latest of a long line of live mascot Bevos. The first Bevo debuted at a 1916 Thanksgiving Day contest and is one of the longest running mascots in collegiate sports.

Is Bevo aggressive enough to actually make a difference in Washington? Well, consider that Bevo II took a run at an SMU cheerleader who had to run all the way back to their home campus to escape.

Bevo III once escaped from his holding pen and ran through town, ordering several pitchers of beers at local watering holes.

Bevo IV stole a car, drove around picking up cheerleaders and drove to Vegas.

Bevo V once scooped up the entire Baylor band on his back and bucked them all the way to Waco.

More recently, Bevo XV charged Uga the Bulldog, the University of Georgia mascot, before being pulled back by a 76-foot crane, two bulldozers and a group of loggers using log hooks.

Let’s just say you can expect Congresspeople to run for the exits when Bevo doesn’t get his way.