Texas Proposes Moving California Redwood Forest to West Texas

Texas recently upped its rivalry with California by requesting they be allowed to move California’s famed Redwood Forest to a spot in West Texas. California Redwood trees have been known to grow more than 370 feet in height with a diameter of almost 30 feet. They live 1200 to 1800 years.

“Isn’t hundreds of years long enough in a liberal bastion like California?” asked Texas Governor Reginald Trumpismyman. “It’s time California let those trees move to Texas like so many of the jobs they’ve let move here,” he chuckled.

Texas plans to let the public keep any tree a family can cut down in one day or less. “If they can cut through a 30-foot diameter tree, hell, let them haul it home. It’ll make some good firewood for the their next 500,000 or so BBQs,” said the governor.