Food and Restaurants

The Grocery Line Encounter with Mr. Peelscrap

It was a regular Tuesday evening, and I was waiting in line at the grocery store, my cart filled with the usual suspects. Just as I was daydreaming about dinner, I noticed the gentleman in front of me. He was dressed in a suit that looked like it was woven from potato sacks, complete with a tie adorned with tiny golden potato prints. His hat? A crisply fried potato chip, of course.

He caught me staring and chuckled, “Ah, intrigued by the potato attire? Name’s Mr. Peelscrap, the Tater Tycoon of the West.”

As we chatted, he regaled me with tales of his potato adventures, from the Idaho fields where he discovered the perfect russet to the underground fry clubs of San Francisco. As he bagged his groceries, he pulled out a fresh potato and handed it to me. “Ever tried making home fries the Peelscrap way?” he asked with a wink.

Right there, between the cereal aisle and the express checkout, Mr. Peelscrap shared his legendary home fries recipe, scribbled on the back of a grocery receipt.


Mr. Peelscrap’s Legendary Home Fries Recipe:

Ingredients:

  • 2 large russet potatoes, preferably whispered sweet nothings by Mr. Peelscrap himself
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil, as smooth as a jazz tune
  • 1 onion, finely chopped, its layers as deep as our grocery store conversation
  • 1 bell pepper, diced, for that splash of color
  • A pinch of paprika, for that fiery kick
  • Salt and pepper, to taste, sprinkled with the flair of a potato baron
  • Fresh parsley, finely chopped, for a touch of green elegance

Instructions:

  1. Wash and dice the potatoes into even cubes, thinking of the vast Idaho fields.
  2. Heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat, letting it dance and shimmer.
  3. Add the onions and bell pepper, sautéing until they’re soft and translucent, reminiscent of a golden sunset.
  4. Toss in the potato cubes, ensuring each one gets its moment in the spotlight.
  5. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the potatoes are golden brown and crispy on the outside, yet tender on the inside.
  6. Season with paprika, salt, and pepper, and garnish with the fresh parsley.
  7. Serve with a side of Peelscrap stories and a dollop of ketchup.

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.