The Sky Diving Novelist
This is a strange, overwrought short story parody I cooked up about a best-selling novelist who can only write when she is sky-diving. It makes me laugh.
Victoria Hale, a best-selling novelist of unparalleled imagination, thrived on the unconventional. Her stories were born from the most peculiar of muses, and her creative process defied all norms. Where others found solace in quiet corners or bustling cafes, Victoria soared to new heights – quite literally.
“Alright, Victoria, last minute gear check,” Jack announced, his voice authoritative yet warm. They stood together on the tarmac, sun beating down on their jumpsuits. Victoria’s hands trembled with anticipation as she reached for her waterproof, wind-resistant voice recorder, a vital tool in her high-altitude creative process.
“Double-check your straps,” he continued, his eyes scanning her equipment with practiced precision. Their banter from earlier had faded as they approached the crucial moment of another dive. “Helmet secure?”
“Check,” Victoria replied, her pulse racing. This was not her first time skydiving, but the thrill never dulled, nor did the challenge of capturing her thoughts mid-plunge. She knew that only Jack could understand this strange fusion of adrenaline and literary inspiration.
“Voice recorder?” Jack inquired, offering her a knowing smile.
“Right here,” she said, holding it up. The small device held the key to unlocking the untapped potential of her imagination. As she clutched it tightly, she couldn’t help but marvel at the bond she shared with Jack – one of trust, understanding, and mutual respect.
“Excellent. Remember, just like we practiced,” he reminded her gently, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Let your mind soar with the clouds and dictate your prose into the recorder. I’ll be right there with you.”
“Thanks, Jack. I appreciate it, truly,” Victoria murmured, looking him directly in the eyes. A surge of gratitude washed over her as she realized how much their partnership meant to her – both as an author and as a person navigating the uncharted territory of her own life.
“Victoria, let’s focus on one thing at a time: Jump, write, land, repeat,” Jack said, his tone light but firm. He understood her tendency to overthink, and his steady presence kept her grounded, even in the most extreme moments.
“Okay, let’s do this,” Victoria declared, her determination renewed. As Jack led her towards the waiting plane, she knew that whatever challenges awaited her in the sky – and in her writing – they would conquer them together.
***
“Ready?” Jack’s voice came through the headset, his words crackling with anticipation.
“Ready,” Victoria confirmed, her pulse racing. She looked down at the expanse of earth below, a patchwork quilt of greens, browns, and blues. The wind whipped around them, tugging at her jumpsuit like an impatient child.
“Three…two…one…jump!” Jack shouted, and together, they leaped into the abyss.
The world seemed to drop away beneath Victoria’s feet as she plunged into freefall, the sensation akin to soaring weightlessly through the cosmos. A surge of adrenaline coursed through her veins, igniting her senses. This was what it meant to be truly alive – to dance on the edge of fear and excitement, suspended in mid-air, her thoughts unchained.
“Victoria! Stay focused!” Jack’s voice jolted her back to reality.
“Right!” she replied, clutching the voice recorder. She took a deep breath, feeling the cool air fill her lungs as she wrangled her thoughts into submission. And then, the words began to flow.
“Silas peered over the edge of the precipice, his heart pounding wildly in his chest as he contemplated the chasm before him…”
As the prose poured forth, Victoria felt a sense of clarity that eluded her on solid ground. The rush of the wind, the kaleidoscopic view of the earth below, and the sheer exhilaration of the fall all conspired to fuel her imagination.
“Keep going, Victoria!” Jack encouraged her, his voice a lifeline tethering her to reality. “You’re doing great!”
“Thanks!” she shouted back, her thoughts a torrent of creativity. “She hesitated for a moment, torn between duty and desire, but ultimately knew she must follow her heart…”
With each word spoken into the voice recorder, Victoria felt her story take on a life of its own. It was as if the characters had been waiting, hidden within her subconscious, for this very moment to unfurl their wings and take flight.
“Victoria, we’re approaching pull altitude!” Jack warned, his voice urgent.
“Got it!” Victoria replied, squeezing out one last sentence before they deployed their parachutes.
“Excellent work, Victoria,” Jack praised her once they were safely under canopy. “That was some of your best work yet.”
“Thanks, Jack,” she said with a grin, feeling a sense of accomplishment wash over her. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
As they descended toward the landing zone, Victoria knew that they had pushed boundaries and tested limits – both in the sky and within the pages of her novel. And as they touched down on terra firma, she couldn’t help but feel that the sky was truly the limit.
***
Victoria’s success as a novelist was nothing short of meteoric. Her bookshelves groaned under the weight of awards, accolades, and glowing reviews. Critics hailed her intense prose as “a tour de force” and “an exquisite dance between the visceral and the ethereal.” The world couldn’t get enough of Victoria’s gripping stories, and they clamored for more.
“Your words are like a punch to the gut,” gushed an ardent fan at one of her many sold-out book signings. “I can’t help but feel every emotion your characters go through.”
“Thank you,” she replied modestly, signing another copy with a flourish.
Few knew the secret behind Victoria’s vivid writing: the adrenaline-fueled inspiration that came only from soaring among the clouds in free fall. Skydiving was her muse, her key to unlocking the deepest caverns of her imagination.
“Every time I jump, it’s like the world falls away beneath me,” she told her skydiving instructor, Jack, during one of their many sessions together. “Up there, I’m untethered from reality, free to explore the darkest corners of my mind.”
The wind roared past her ears, stealing her breath as she plummeted from 12,000 feet, her thoughts racing faster than ever before. Plots twisted and turned in her mind; characters sprang to life, vivid and fully formed. Dialogue crackled with electricity as her fingers flew across the keyboard later, feverishly transcribing the ideas birthed in the sky.
“Five, four, three, two, one!” Victoria yelled in exhilaration as she took every leap, arms spread wide like wings, embracing the freedom that only the open sky could provide. She smiled, knowing that the descent would breathe new life into her latest thriller, her fans none the wiser about the unusual source of her literary prowess.
“Another masterpiece in the making,” she whispered every jump, her heart pounding with anticipation.
***
“Get set, Victoria!” Jack shouted over the hum of the airplane engine as they climbed higher for another jump. He grinned at her, his eyes crinkling with warmth and understanding. “You ready to unlock another bestseller?”
Victoria flashed him a grateful smile, knowing that Jack was the only one who knew the true source of her creativity. Over countless jumps, they had forged an unbreakable bond. She trusted him implicitly, both with her life and her secret.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she replied, tightening her harness. “Let’s hope this one’s as successful as the last.”
As the plane ascended further, Jack leaned in conspiratorially. “So, what’s the plot this time? A deadly conspiracy? A twisted serial killer?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Victoria teased, playfully nudging his shoulder. They shared a laugh, their camaraderie evident in the easy banter between them.
The excitement and anticipation were palpable as the plane reached altitude. But just as Victoria prepared to take her position by the door, dark clouds gathered on the horizon, casting ominous shadows across the sky.
“Looks like we’ve got company,” Jack said, concern etching lines into his forehead. He stared out at the storm, an unsettling feeling gnawing at his gut. “I don’t like the look of those clouds, Victoria. We should call off the jump.”
“Are you serious?” Victoria’s heart sank as she realized what this meant for her writing. The frustration bubbled up inside her, threatening to spill over. “But I need this, Jack. You know I can’t write without it.”
“I know, but it’s not worth the risk,” he insisted, his voice firm yet gentle. He placed a hand on her arm, trying to convey his understanding. “We’ll find another way.”
Despair clawed at Victoria as she reluctantly agreed. As the plane turned back, they watched the series of storms roll in like a tidal wave of fury, bolts of lightning tearing through the sky and thunder shaking the earth below. The rain crashed down relentlessly, a torrential deluge that would ground all skydiving activities for days to come.
“Damn these storms,” Victoria muttered under her breath. The frustration gnawed at her, knowing that her muse was now out of reach, locked away behind a tempestuous wall of wind and water.
“Victoria, we’ll find another way,” Jack reiterated, his voice full of conviction. “Trust me.”
She looked into his eyes, searching for reassurance amidst the brewing storm, and knew that no matter what, they’d face this challenge together.
***
Victoria’s phone buzzed for the third time that day, jolting her from her futile attempts at writing. She glanced at the screen and saw it was her publisher again, the urgency of their messages growing with each call. Her heart raced as she picked up the phone, bracing herself for yet another reminder of how dire her situation had become.
“Victoria, we need those chapters,” her publisher demanded the moment she answered, the impatience in his voice impossible to miss. “The deadline is looming, and our marketing department is already pushing the new release.”
“I know, I know. I’m working on it,” Victoria replied, trying to keep her frustration in check. The storms outside mirrored the storm of anxiety brewing within her, threatening to swallow her whole.
“Find a way to make it happen,” her publisher snapped before hanging up.
“Ugh,” Victoria groaned, dropping the phone onto her desk. She stared blankly at the blinking cursor on her laptop, willing the words to come, but they remained elusive. With a deep breath, she vowed to find a solution, no matter what it took.
***
“Jack!” she called out, pacing back and forth in the small office space. “I can’t wait any longer. I need to find another way to get my inspiration.”
Jack, who had been watching the storm outside through the window, turned to face her. “Alright, let’s brainstorm. What do you think might help?”
“Maybe indoor skydiving?” Victoria suggested, hope flickering in her eyes. “Or…writing on a roller coaster? Anything that can simulate the adrenaline rush I need.”
“Both interesting ideas,” Jack said thoughtfully, stroking his chin. “But are you sure you’re not just chasing the thrill?”
“Of course not!” Victoria huffed, crossing her arms. “It’s about the freedom, the feeling of being untethered that I need to access my creativity.”
“Alright, let’s give it a shot,” Jack said, smiling in support. “We’ll try indoor skydiving first. If that doesn’t work, we’ll hit the amusement park and see if that does the trick.”
“Thank you, Jack,” Victoria said, her voice softening with gratitude. He knew just how much was at stake for her, and she couldn’t have faced this challenge without him.
With determination and hope burning within them, Victoria and Jack set off on their quest to find an alternative muse, one that would unlock the door to Victoria’s creative prison and allow her to soar once more.
***
The wind tunnel roared, a maelstrom of artificial gusts that whipped around Victoria as she stepped into the chamber. Her anticipation bubbled within her chest, and she took a deep breath, hoping that this would be the key to unlocking her trapped creativity.
“Alright, Victoria, just like we practiced,” Jack shouted over the roar of the wind, giving her a thumbs up from behind the safety glass.
As the wind picked up, Victoria attempted to position herself as if she were skydiving, but the confined space and lack of altitude felt stifling. Her heart pounded in her chest, but it wasn’t the same exhilarating rush she needed.
“Damn it!” she yelled, her voice lost in the cacophony of the wind. Frustration gnawed at her as she exited the tunnel, disappointment weighing heavy on her shoulders.
“Let’s try the roller coaster,” Jack suggested, concern etching lines onto his face.
Victoria gritted her teeth and nodded. “Fine, let’s go.”
***
The amusement park was a riot of color and sound, with children’s laughter and the screech of machinery filling the air. Victoria and Jack rode to the front of the line for the tallest roller coaster in the park, its steel frame towering ominously above them.
“Are you sure about this?” Jack asked, eyeing the colossal structure with trepidation.
“Of course I’m not,” Victoria snapped, clenching her pen and notepad tight in her hands. “But I have to try something!”
As the coaster began its slow, click-clacking ascent, Victoria felt a familiar tingle of adrenaline. But when the drop came, she found herself gasping for breath rather than scribbling down inspired prose. The vertiginous plunge and dizzying loops seemed to mock her efforts, her pen barely able to keep up with the frantic pace of the ride.
“Jack, this isn’t working!” she yelled as the coaster whipped around another curve, her handwriting now a series of illegible scrawls. “The words won’t come!”
“Maybe you should try something else, Victoria!” Jack shouted back, his knuckles white from gripping the safety bar.
“Like what?!” she cried in desperation, feeling the pressure of the deadline like a vice around her chest.
“Let’s talk about it once we’re off this thing!” Jack hollered just as the roller coaster plummeted down another steep drop, their screams blending with those of the other riders.
Victoria could feel her last shred of hope slipping away, and she knew that without the boundlessness of the open sky, her creativity would remain locked away, untouchable and out of reach.
Victoria leaned against the railing of the quiet boardwalk, staring out at the churning sea. The stormy waves mirrored her own turbulent emotions. She realized that her creativity wasn’t just fueled by adrenaline; it was the limitless sky and the sensation of being untethered from the world below that truly inspired her. Skydiving didn’t simply provide a rush – it set her free.
“Jack,” she said quietly, her eyes still fixed on the horizon, “I need the open sky. I can’t write without it.”
Jack stood beside her, understanding the weight of her words. “I know, Victoria. But we can’t control the weather. We just have to wait for the storms to pass.”
“Waiting isn’t really my strong suit,” she admitted, worry etching lines across her forehead. “But I suppose I don’t have much choice.”
“Hey,” Jack said gently, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “you’ll get through this. You always do.”
Despite his comforting words, Victoria couldn’t shake the gnawing anxiety that grew with each passing day. She found herself constantly checking weather forecasts, her heart sinking every time she saw another storm front rolling in. Her fingers itched to write, but without the sky’s embrace, they remained poised above her keyboard, trembling with impotent frustration.
“Come on, come on…” she muttered under her breath, refreshing the weather website for the hundredth time that day. “Give me something good.”
“Still no luck?” Jack asked as he entered the room, his voice laced with concern.
“Nothing,” she sighed, closing her laptop with a defeated click. “Just more rain.”
“Victoria, I promise you, the moment the sky clears, we’ll be up there again,” Jack vowed, his determination evident in his clenched fists.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her eyes glistening with gratitude. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Neither do I,” he teased, earning a weak smile from Victoria.
As the days turned into weeks, Victoria clung to Jack’s promise like a lifeline. Her determination to wait for the storms to pass only grew stronger, even as the deadline loomed ever closer. She knew that if she could just take to the skies once more, her muse would return, and her words would flow like the wind that carried her through the clouds.
“Please,” she prayed, looking heavenward, “just give me one clear day.”
***
The morning sun finally broke through the clouds, casting golden rays upon Victoria’s face as she emerged from her house. Her heart raced as she looked up at the clear blue sky, a sight she had nearly forgotten.
“Jack!” she called, excitement bubbling in her voice. “It’s happening! The sky is clear!”
“Finally,” Jack grinned, his eyes alight with anticipation as he joined her outside. “Let’s not waste any more time.”
As they drove to the drop zone, Victoria could barely contain her excitement. She felt like a caged bird that had been granted its freedom, eager to spread its wings and soar into the boundless sky. She knew that today would be the day her creativity would return and her words would flow like a river unleashed.
“Remember, just let your mind open and the words will come,” Jack encouraged her as they suited up, double-checking each other’s harnesses and parachutes.
“Thank you, Jack. I couldn’t do this without you,” Victoria replied, sincerity lacing her every word.
With their gear on and adrenaline pumping, they climbed into the airplane, feeling the vibrations of the engine as it roared to life. Victoria took a deep breath, gripping her voice recorder tightly in her hand.
“Ready?” Jack asked, his eyes gleaming with excitement and concern.
“More than ever,” Victoria answered, nodding fiercely.
“Alright, here we go!” Jack shouted as he flung open the airplane door, revealing the vast expanse of the sky below them.
Victoria’s heart pounded in her chest as she peered out of the doorway, feeling the wind whip her face. This was it – the moment she had been waiting for.
“Three, two, one… jump!” Jack yelled, and together, they leaped into the abyss.
“Voice recorder on!” Victoria declared, her voice strong against the rushing wind. The adrenaline coursed through her veins, igniting the spark she had been missing for weeks.
“Come on, come on… think!” she urged herself, feeling the first tendrils of inspiration wrapping around her thoughts. “There’s no time to waste!”
“An unexpected twist! A betrayal!” Victoria shouted, the words suddenly bursting from her like a dam breaking. “The killer was hiding in plain sight all along!”
“Brilliant!” Jack yelled over the roar of the wind, awe etched on his face as he watched Victoria’s creative process unfold.
“Time is running out, and our hero has only one chance to stop the villain,” Victoria continued, her voice rising with each new revelation. “But at what cost?”
“Keep going, Victoria!” Jack encouraged her, sensing that she was on the cusp of greatness. “You’re almost there!”
“Everything comes crashing down, but love and determination prevail!” Victoria exclaimed, her eyes shining with triumph. “Our hero saves the day, but not without sacrifice.”
“Amazing, Victoria!” Jack praised her, his own exhilaration mirrored in her expression. “Now let’s get you back to solid ground so you can write it all down!”
“Right behind you!” Victoria agreed, her heart soaring with pride and relief as they deployed their parachutes, guiding themselves back to Earth – and back to the thrilling world of her stories.
***
Victoria stood in the bustling bookstore, surrounded by eager fans clutching copies of her latest novel. The anticipation in the air was palpable as they awaited their turn for a personal inscription from the renowned author. She smiled warmly at each individual, exchanging snippets of conversation and signing their books with a flourish.
“Victoria, I’ve read every one of your novels,” gushed a young woman, her eyes brimming with excitement. “I can’t wait to dive into this one!”
“Thank you so much,” Victoria replied graciously. “I hope it keeps you on the edge of your seat.”
As she signed another book, her gaze wandered to the large window that framed a clear, blue sky – the kind of sky that called out to her very soul, promising adventure and inspiration. A grin tugged at the corners of her lips, and her heart raced in anticipation. The next story was waiting, just a skydive away.
“Excuse me, Ms. Chambers?” The voice pulled her back to the present, and she focused on a middle-aged man extending his copy for her to sign.
“Of course,” she said, adding her signature while he watched with admiration.
“Your writing is so vivid and intense,” he commented. “It’s like you’re experiencing everything alongside your characters.”
“Ah, well, sometimes it feels that way,” she replied cryptically, her thoughts drifting to the adrenaline-fueled free fall that had unlocked the final chapters of her masterpiece.
“Keep up the great work,” he encouraged before departing with his treasured, signed copy.
“Thank you,” she murmured, her mind already drifting back to the boundless sky and the exhilaration it offered.
“Victoria!” A familiar voice called out, and she turned to see Jack sidling through the crowd toward her. His presence was a reassuring reminder of their shared experiences, the trust they’d built over countless skydives together.
“Jack!” Her face lit up with genuine happiness. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he replied, grinning broadly. “Besides, I wanted to see if your latest thriller lives up to the hype.”
“Only one way to find out,” she teased, signing a copy and handing it to him. “But be warned: it might just leave you breathless.”
“Sounds like my kind of read,” Jack winked, before he was swallowed by the crowd once more.
As the line dwindled and the last book was signed, Victoria allowed herself a moment to bask in the success of the event. The praise and acclaim that had begun with her first novel only seemed to grow with each subsequent release, and she felt an immense surge of gratitude for the unique muse that fueled her creativity.
With a final glance at the beckoning blue sky through the window, Victoria knew that her next thrilling adventure – and the story it would inspire – was just a jump away.
