Trump Cuts Deal With Santa: Elves to Help Build Wall

 

 

President Trump has cut a deal with Santa Claus to have elves help build the long-promised wall along the United States southern border. The announcement came over the wire on Christmas Eve as Santa, Rudolph and the other reindeer made their way toward millions of homes around the world.

“Everybody told me Santa is a good guy, really good people. Everybody was saying it,” the President told reporters at a press conference. “They said he and his employees, I guess they call them elves, are really good at building things. Big toys, little toys. All the toys, I thought this is the guy that can help me build the wall.”

Mrs. Claus made a statement in the absence of her husband busy climbing down chimneys and avoiding yet another plate of cookies. “Mr. Trump approached my husband with a proposal to put the elves to work in the months they are not building toys. We are relatively slow in the North Pole in the first half of the year, so we worked a deal where the elves will stay at Mir-A-Lago and work on the wall in rotating teams.”