Trump rewrites the names of famous bodies of water
Trump recently decided to rename The Gulf of Mexico to The Gulf of America. It didn’t take long for him to propose several other name changes:
The Lake of the Edmund Fitzgerald (formerly Lake Superior) – Gordon Lightfoot already renamed it in our hearts.
The Springsteen Shoreline (formerly the Jersey Shore) – Officially where tramps like us were born to run.
The Sweet Caroline Stream (formerly the Charles River, Boston) – Touches hands, reaches out, floods unexpectedly.
The Proud Mary River (formerly the Mississippi River) – Still rollin’, still burnin’, still making people quit jobs on impulse.
The Purple Rain Lagoon (formerly Lake Minnetonka) – You must purify yourself in its waters.
The Take Me Home, Country Roads Tributary (formerly the New River, West Virginia) – Almost heaven, but occasionally floods.
The Hotel California Bay (formerly the Santa Monica Bay) – You can check in, but environmentalists will never let you leave.
The Kokomo Current (formerly the Gulf Stream) – Way down in the tropics, fueling hurricane dreams.
The Boulevard of Broken Streams (formerly the Los Angeles River) – Technically still a river, but mostly an asphalt trickle of regret.
