Venom – Movie Review

Venom – Movie Review

What’s with these billionaire investors like Dr. Carlton Drake in the movie “Venom,” conducting experiments they think will save humanity? Don’t they have anything better to do?

How about fixing the bridges? We have 1 million bridges in the US alone, and 990,999 of them need some work on them. Nobody thinks about bridges until one collapses. Or some trucker hauling eggs and cheese misjudges the clearance and gets wedged underneath one.

“Venom” stars Tom Hardy as a journalist investigating Dr. Drake’s activities. First off, journalists do not look at all like Tom Hardy. They should have used somebody much shlubbier, with a ink-stained shirt pocket, pants 2 inches too short, crooked glasses and a Bernie 2020 pin on his collar.

Tom Hardy’s character is bi-polar, or he is sharing his body with a symbiote from another solar system. I’m not sure which. But he sure has gained some cool powers. Now he can punch people out on the other side of doors without moving from where he is standing, a useful skill when warding off tax collectors and people raising money to support the ongoing existence of the Atlanta Hawks.

He can also ride a motorcycle through the city with the skill of an experienced dirt-bike motocross champion, taking steep hills with ease, flying through the air while eating an In-N-Out burger animal style with burnt fries and a Diet Coke (no straw please).

Here’s my main problem with the movie. Venom has 475 teeth, ranging in length from a couple of inches up to five inches or more, yet he takes no time for proper dental care. You never see brushing, flossing or even some sugar-free gum after a spicy meal of Jerk Chicken and Flamin’ Hot Mac and Cheetos.

Four out of five stars.