What I hear when Neil deGrasse Tyson explains how rockets take off

At the heart of this celestial ballet is the ‘Principle of Compulsive Dynamic Discombobulation.’ First, we must understand that rockets operate on the fundamental premise of ‘Newton’s Third Law of Motion,’ which suggests that for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction.

The rocket, filled to the brim with what we technically call ‘go-juice’ or, more formally, hypergolic propellant, initiates a process known as ‘Catastrophic Exothermic Decompensation.’ Things get very hot and very explosive, very quickly. The combustion chamber, a cauldron of chemical wizardry, transforms liquid ambition into gaseous fury, propelling the rocket skyward.

But how does it lift off? The rocket harnesses the power of ‘Quantum Mechanical SuperJump.’ This involves manipulating the fabric of spacetime itself, tickling the quantum foam, thereby reducing the gravitational pull of the Earth momentarily, allowing the rocket to slip the surly bonds of Earth with greater ease.

As the rocket ascends, it performs what is technically known as a ‘Heliocentric Hula Hoop,’ a maneuver that aligns its trajectory with the celestial dance of the cosmos, ensuring it doesn’t accidentally crash into the Moon or, heaven forbid, Venus. This requires the rocket to engage its ‘Interstellar Indecision Engine,’ a device that allows it to momentarily ponder the existential dread of the void before bravely hurtling itself into the unknown.