What’s Pluto been up to since his demotion to dwarf planet?: The Pluto interview

Interviewer: Ladies, gentlemen, and celestial bodies of all sizes, welcome to “Cosmic Conversations.” I’m your host, Sarl Cagan, and today, we have a very special space guest. He’s been chilling in the Kuiper Belt, he’s icy, he’s controversial, and he’s not a planet… or is he? Please welcome, Pluto!

Pluto: Thanks, Sarl. It’s great to be here, floating in the void as always.

Interviewer: So, Pluto, it’s been a while since the big demotion in 2006. How have you been holding up?

Pluto: Oh, you know, just orbiting the sun at my own pace. It’s a long trip, about 248 Earth years, so I’ve got a lot of time to think. And brood.

Interviewer: Were you upset about the whole “not a planet anymore” thing?

Pluto: Upset? I was furious! I mean, one day you’re part of the cool planet club, and the next, you’re a “dwarf planet.” Do you know how many “dwarf planet” jokes I’ve had to endure? It’s not easy being the punchline of the solar system.

Interviewer: I can imagine. Have you spoken to any of the other planets since then?

Pluto: Well, Neptune’s still cool. We cross paths now and then. But Jupiter? Too gassy and full of himself. And don’t get me started on Earth. Ever since they sent that New Horizons probe to take pictures of me, it’s like they think they know me.

Interviewer: Speaking of Earth, how do you feel about the humans?

Pluto: Humans are… interesting. They demote me, then they get all nostalgic and start saying they miss me as a planet. Make up your mind, Earthlings!

Interviewer: So, what do you do to pass the time?

Pluto: I’ve taken up some hobbies. I do a bit of ice sculpting – I’ve got plenty of material for that. And I’ve been binge-watching distant galaxies. You wouldn’t believe the drama.

Interviewer: Any plans for the future?

Pluto: I’m thinking of starting a support group for celestial bodies with identity crises. Eris, Haumea, Makemake – they all know what I’m going through. We might even invite Ceres from the asteroid belt. It’s tough out there for a small object.

Interviewer: Finally, any message for your fans on Earth?

Pluto: Yeah. Keep looking up, Earthlings. And remember, size isn’t everything. Even a small, icy rock at the edge of the solar system can make a big impact. Also, a little respect wouldn’t hurt. #PlutoStillAPlanet

Interviewer: Thank you, Pluto, for this insightful interview. Stay cool, my friend.

Pluto: Always do, Starry. Always do.