You’ll wish you bought the Dyson when the murder hornets arrive
You cheaped out again! You bought the less expensive brand even though you knew the Dyson vacuum had much stronger sucking power. That decision is going to haunt you.
That’s because in Washington state they eliminated the first “murder hornets” nest found in the U.S. How? They vacuumed it right out of a tree.
Yippee! Citizens 1, Murder Hornets 0.
But do you think for a minute they’ll be able to do that for YOU when the murder hornets set up camp in your yard, in your neighborhood, in your town? Not on your life. The phones will be jammed and the professionals will be overwhelmed, taking care of the rich neighborhood before you because you forgot to bribe local politicians.
It’s all up to you. You’ll have to put on 15 layers of clothes, 2 oven mitts, a football helmet and every quarantine face mask you own and go out and battle them yourself, holding your cheap vacuum over your head, the cord running into the house, your entire family pressing their faces up against the rear sliding glass door.
“Be careful!” they yell as you wobble on the ladder against the tree, struggling to suck up the killer insects—which are two inches long and have a HELLUVA painful sting—into your off-brand vacuum.
“I should’ve got the damn Dyson!” you think as the sweat runs from your forehead into your eyes, making it hard to see the enemy. A black cloud of 10,000 murder hornets emerges from the nest, swarming your body as you pass out from panic, falling off the ladder into the soft grass.
