Your Baby Smells Horrible But What Great Teeth!

Somebody stole a shark from the San Antonio Aquarium.

Say what? How do you steal a shark?

You might teach the shark to walk and then tell it to follow you out with a baseball cap on its head.

You might dress up as a shark so people think you are the Shark Family visiting friends and relatives at the aquarium.

You could hire the Whataburger mobile truck to set up shop in the aquarium parking lot. When the aquarium empties because they heard there was a half-price deal on Jalapeño and Cheese Whataburgers, you slip the shark under your cowboy hat and walk out.

Two men and a woman decided on a more direct approach to get a 1.5 foot long shark they stole out of the facility. They reached into a pool which allows petting animals and pulled it out by the tail, then wrapped it up in a blanket and walked it out in stroller. Nothing to see here folks, just family and friends out for a day at the aquarium.

We are still verifying some of the details of this story, but one witness said a security guard went up to the “baby” and remarked “your baby has very nice teeth.”

Turning his head from the powerful fishy odor emanating from the stroller, he said, “If baby needs a changing, there are changing stations in each bathroom.”

With that, the thieves walked out and drove away with a new family addition. The police tracked the license plate and arrests were made.

Meanwhile, Junior shark is back in the petting pool. He spends his days fielding interviews from the Today Show, the View, World News Tonight, CBS Morning News, the Ellen Show, and hundreds of radio stations, magazines, online publications and newspapers. A spokesperson directed us to his publicity agent. We’ll update this story as it progresses.