Outdated laws still on the books for some reason in Omaha
Let’s explore some old laws that Omaha might have forgotten to erase from its legal ledgers: “Any squirrel seen loitering
Read MoreJoe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Let’s explore some old laws that Omaha might have forgotten to erase from its legal ledgers: “Any squirrel seen loitering
Read MoreI left law and completely changed my life.
Read MoreFun legal fact: You can sued if you own an empty lot and some jerks decide to do donuts in
Read MoreIt takes a lot of stones to say a gypsy curse is what drove you to commit crimes. I’ve heard
Read MoreA friend of mine just got back from Singapore. He said, “Brace yourself. This will blow you away. An average
Read MoreYou have things to do. You are in a hurry. Go, go, go. Oops, here comes la policia. Looks like
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Middletown, Ohio recently deactivated their red light traffic cameras at intersections around the city in order to bring the
Read MoreFifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.
Read MoreThe professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, “If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?”
The student replied, “Here’s an orange.”
The professor was outraged. “No! No! Think like a lawyer!”
The student then replied, “Okay. I’d tell him `I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding…'”
Read MoreA man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night.
The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.”
When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind.
“Jesus died with a thief on either side. I just thought I’d check out the same way.”
Read MoreA lawyer’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?”
The lawyer answers, “Absolutely.”
“Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today.”
The lawyer writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher leaves feeling vindicated.
Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation.
Read MoreA golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.
“I’m an attorney,” the wincing man said, “and this is going to cost you $5000.”
“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” the concerned golfer replied. “But I did yell ‘fore’.”
“I’ll take it,” the attorney said.
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