10 reasons Colorado lost so bad to Oregon

10 reasons Colorado’s football team lost so bad to Oregon last Saturday.

Reason #1: The Buffaloes were so blinded by the Ducks’ garish green and yellow uniforms, they kept running in the wrong direction.

Reason #2: Deion Sanders spent the first half trying to negotiate a contract for a reality TV show, “Deion’s Buffaloes: From Zero to Hero.”

Reason #3: The Buffaloes were distracted every time the Ducks’ mascot did pushups, trying to figure out how a duck could even do pushups.

Reason #4: Phil Knight laced the Buffaloes’ cleats with springs, making them bounce uncontrollably every time they tried to make a play.

Reason #5: The Buffaloes mistook the Ducks’ annoying fans for a flock of actual ducks and spent the game trying to herd them off the field.

Reason #6: Deion Sanders implemented a new strategy called “Prime Time Play”, but the Buffaloes thought it meant playing prime time TV shows on the jumbotron.

Reason #7: The Buffaloes were so used to winning, they got lost trying to find the losing locker room at halftime.

Reason #8: The University of Colorado Buffaloes were convinced the real challenge was a fashion contest and spent the game critiquing the Ducks’ uniform choices.

Reason #9: The Buffaloes heard Phil Knight was watching and were too busy trying to design the next big Nike sneaker to focus on the game.

Reason #10: Deion Sanders was so outspoken during the game, the Buffaloes couldn’t hear the play calls over his commentary.