15 more signs someone has made a career of walking straight into moving traffic

Here are 15 more signs someone has made a career of walking straight into moving traffic.

1. They have a sponsorship deal with a leading brake pad manufacturer.
2. Their résumé lists “Professional Frogger Player” as relevant experience.
3. They’ve mastered the art of the “dodge and weave” and teach online courses on the subject.
4. Their LinkedIn profile lists “Traffic Whisperer” as their current job title.
5. They’ve written an autobiography: “Life in the Fast Lane: How to Walk Through Traffic and Not Die Trying.”
6. They host a yearly conference called “DodgerCon,” complete with seminars on “The Physics of Near-Misses.”
7. They’ve got a clothing line of high-visibility suits complete with built-in airbags.
8. They’ve developed a patented “Traffic Timing App” that calculates the optimal moment to step off the curb.
9. They’re the star of a reality TV show: “America’s Next Top Jaywalker.”
10. Their walk-in closet is filled with trophies and medals for “Best Near-Miss,” “Most Stylish Dodge,” and “Lifetime Achievement in Not Getting Hit.”
11. They run a YouTube channel with tutorials like “5 Advanced Moves to Dodge a Sedan” and “How to Walk into Oncoming Traffic and Live to Tell the Tale.”
12. They’re an influencer with endorsements from leading shoe companies, specializing in “Quick Step” technology.
13. They’ve become the official consultant for cities aiming to improve pedestrian safety, under the ironic premise that they’ve seen all the ways it can go wrong.
14. They have an emotional support cheetah trained to navigate through traffic.
15. They’ve coined a series of jargon unique to their craft, like “Pedestrial Aerodynamics” and “Car-dodging Coefficients.”