Travel and Places

5 amazingly dull men’s clothing stores in New Orleans

If you are looking for cool clothes in New Orleans, these unexciting stores are not it. Just listen to how dull their stories are. Yawn.

The Bored Pelican

This store is located in the French Quarter and specializes in high-end, fashionable clothing. The manager says, “The Bored Pelican is the go-to destination for the most stylish and sophisticated men in New Orleans. We have a wide range of clothing and accessories to suit any occasion.”

The best-selling item at this store is a high-end, Italian-made suit. This suit is sleek, elegant, and sophisticated, much like the Bored Pelican bird itself.

One satisfied customer is a young man who recently bought a tailored suit for his wedding. He says, “I wanted to look my best on my big day, and The Bored Pelican helped me find the perfect suit. It fits me like a glove and makes me feel confident and stylish. I’m so glad I chose to shop here.”

The manager’s mom says, “My son is a good boy and he will take excellent care of the customers at The Bored Pelican. He’s always been very fashionable and knows how to help people find the perfect clothes and accessories to suit their style. I’m sure he will do a great job.”

The Silly Mockingbird

This store is located in the Garden District and offers a mix of casual and formal clothing. The manager says, “At The Silly Mockingbird, we pride ourselves on providing our customers with high-quality, affordable clothing that is perfect for any occasion. Whether you’re looking for a new suit or just some comfortable jeans, we’ve got you covered.”

A best-selling item at this store is a pair of comfortable, stylish jeans. These jeans are versatile and can be dressed up or down, much like the Silly Mockingbird’s ability to mimic the sounds of other birds.

One customer, a college student who recently bought a new pair of jeans, said, “I needed a new pair of jeans that were comfortable and affordable, and The Silly Mockingbird had exactly what I was looking for. They fit me perfectly and have held up well through several washes. I’ll definitely be coming back here for all my denim needs.”

The manager’s mom says, “My son is very helpful and knows how to listen to people’s needs. I’m sure he will do a great job for you.”

The Reluctant Raven

This store is located in the Marigny and offers a unique, eclectic selection of clothing and accessories. The manager says, “At The Reluctant Raven, we believe that fashion should be fun and expressive. Our store is full of one-of-a-kind pieces that will help you stand out from the crowd and show off your personal style.”

The best-selling item at this store is a unique, hand-made leather jacket. This jacket is one-of-a-kind and will help the wearer stand out from the crowd, much like the Reluctant Raven’s distinctive appearance and intelligence.

We talked a creative professional who recently bought a unique, hand-made leather bag. She says, “I love the one-of-a-kind pieces at The Reluctant Raven, and this leather bag is no exception. It’s beautiful, well-made, and has already received lots of compliments. I’m so glad I discovered this store.”

The manager’s mom says, “My son is a good boy and he will take great care of the customers at The Reluctant Raven. He’s always been very creative and has an eye for unique and interesting clothing and accessories. I’m sure he will do a great job.”

No Egret

This store is located in the New Orleans Central Business District and specializes in professional, business-friendly clothing. The manager says, “At No Egret, we understand the importance of making a good impression in the workplace. Our store offers a wide range of high-quality, professional clothing and accessories that will help you look your best and feel confident in any business setting.”

A best-selling item at this store is a professional-looking dress shirt. This shirt is made from high-quality fabric and has a crisp, clean appearance, much like the egret’s white feathers.

A business executive who recently bought a new suit says, “I needed to update my professional wardrobe, and No Egret had a great selection of high-quality suits. I found one that fits me perfectly and looks great. I feel confident and well-dressed whenever I wear it.”

The manager’s mom says, “My son is a good boy and he will make sure that the customers at No Egret are well-dressed and happy. He’s always been very professional and knows how to help people find the perfect outfit for any business occasion. I’m sure he will do a great job.”

The Blue Osprey

This store is located in the Uptown neighborhood and offers a range of outdoor and athletic clothing. The manager told me, “At The Blue Osprey, we believe that looking good and feeling good go hand in hand. Our store is full of comfortable, durable clothing and accessories that are perfect for any outdoor activity. Whether you’re hitting the trail, hitting the gym, or just hitting the town, we’ve got you covered.”

A satisfied customer at this store might be a hiker who recently bought a new pair of hiking boots. He says, “I needed some new boots for a hiking trip I was taking, and The Blue Osprey had exactly what I was looking for. They fit me well, provide good support, and are durable and waterproof. I’m very happy with my purchase.”

A best-selling item at this store is a waterproof, breathable jacket. This jacket is perfect for outdoor activities, much like the osprey’s ability to soar through the air and catch fish.

The manager’s mom says, “My son is a good boy and he will take excellent care of the customers at The Blue Osprey. He’s always been very active and knows how to help people find the perfect clothing and accessories for outdoor activities. I’m sure he will do a great job.”

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.