5 Ways to Build a Downtown Building Fast

People need offices, apartments, and condos. Your city is growing. You need more buildings. STAT!

Here is how to build them fast.

1. Create giant molds of swiss cheese and make offices out of the holes.

2. Scoop up the Lego blocks currently all over the floor of every kid’s room in the county. Build apartments.

3. Use the hot air that comes out of city hall to melt down used, broken TV sets to create building material for new condos. These are the same TVs the citizenry smashed after the local team lost the championship. Again.

4. Go underground. Dig a hole 100 stories deep and build an upside down office building. The CEO gets the bottom floor.

5. Connect existing buildings with a network of tubes. Divide the tubes into sections and create apartments. “Hi, I live in Tube 3, Section 4, Apartment 12. Just leave my pizza with the tube doorman.”