5 worst stationery stores in Baton Rouge
Ah, Baton Rouge. Home of LSU, delicious Cajun food, and…a surprising number of terrible stationery stores. Having been the unfortunate victim of several subpar stationery shopping experiences in this fair city, I felt it my duty to warn others of the lurking papercuts and overpriced pens that await the unsuspecting shopper. So, without further ado, here is my scathing review of the five worst stationery stores in Baton Rouge:
The Alligator Bag
This store is a labyrinth of clutter, with aisles overflowing with outdated calendars, dusty binders, and enough dead ballpoint pens to fill a pirogue. The air hangs heavy with the smell of old paper and regret. The sole employee, a perpetually grumpy man who seems to resent your very presence, would rather be fishing for crawfish than helping you find a decent pen. If you’re looking for a depressing shopping experience that will make you question your life choices, look no further.
The Pelican’s Lament
This store is a Marie Kondo nightmare, with every inch of space crammed with overpriced pens, markers, and notebooks arranged in a chaotic and illogical manner. You’ll spend more time searching for a simple blue pen than actually browsing. And don’t even get me started on the prices. A single pack of sticky notes here costs more than a plate of oysters at Drago’s.
Scribbles & Smudges
This store is the epitome of a “hole-in-the-wall,” with a dark, dingy interior and a faint mothball scent that hangs in the air. The selection is limited to the bare essentials, and the prices are only slightly better than The Pelican’s Lament. The only reason to visit this store is if you’re desperate for a pack of printer paper and have exhausted all other options.
The Bayou Scribe
This store is the kind of place that makes you feel inferior for not owning a fountain pen. The staff is full of self-proclaimed “pen connoisseurs” who look down on anyone who uses anything other than a Montblanc. The selection is impressive, but the prices are enough to make your wallet weep and your Cajun ancestors roll in their graves. If you’re looking for a place to feel judged for your penmanship, this is your haven.
The Mardi Gras Paper Parade
This store is like a stationery explosion designed by a Mardi Gras krewe on a sugar rush. It’s loud, crowded, and overwhelming. The narrow aisles are filled with brightly colored beads, throws, and merchandise, leaving you feeling dizzy and disoriented. The perpetually frazzled staff, likely still dreaming of the last parade, are unhelpful and seemingly oblivious to your needs. If you’re looking for a chaotic shopping experience that will leave you questioning your sanity and longing for the peace of the swamp, this is the place for you.
Baton Rouge’s stationery scene is a swamp of disappointment. If you want a decent selection of pens, paper, and other office supplies, you’re better off shopping online or borrowing a pen from your neighbor.
