7 Lies Houstonians Tell Themselves

1. We like the Ballet situated next to a gas station. Proper zoning is for liberals.

2. No one has a CCW in their truck.

3. I enjoy having outside air so thick it presses on my body.

4. I hate being able to buy a 5-bedroom house on 1 acre for $200,000.

5. Humidity is good for your skin.

6. The best BBQ in Texas is NOT in Austin.

7. I enjoy needing to take a shower immediately after I take a shower.

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.