Can you teach me about the Circle of Life now?

Mufasa taught Simba how to be the Lion King.

The Circle of Life— the eternal balance of the animal kingdom.

How the former lion kings live in the stars and will always guide him.

When? When did Mufasa have time for all this?

Male lions SLEEP 20 HOURS a DAY!

And if they have a big meal, they loosen the button on their pants like Paulie Walnuts and SLEEP 24 HOURS a DAY!

Simba: Can you teach me about the Circle of Life now?

Mufasa: Sure. Zzzzzzzzzzz…zzzzzzzzz…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.