Are you saying I’m accident prone?
Monday – Tripped over a fan cord.Tuesday – Twisted finger in the oven door handle.Wednesday – Fell backward into a
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Joe Ditzel
Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Health
Just don’t get locked in
I’m so old I remember when the only mental health assistance option at work was pounding on frozen onion rings
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3 worst foot massage places in Detroit
Depressing Massage Depressing Massage uses massage therapists trained to make you hate life. They remind you that life is short
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Baldness cure using tree sap
My health insurance is so bad I had to turn to my neighbor Hillbilly Harlan to get his custom baldness
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Just finished the 4,000th roll of toilet paper I hoarded in March of 2020
I just used up the 4,000th roll of toilet paper I hoarded back in the beginning of the pandemic in
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Angstration
Angstration is when you are angry and frustrated at the same time.
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HALT! Why are you being such a Crabby Karen?
Ever feel grumpy, crabby and complainy? Yes, complainy is a word I just made up. Well, the HALT method may
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Breathing heavy one nostril at a time
Did you know for most people your nose exhales one nostril at a time, switching sides every four hours? This
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Yo, you need some blood plasma?
Researchers at Stanford recently took blood plasma from mice that exercised and put it into mice that didn’t exercise at
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Cheech and Chong named as immediate replacements for Dr. Fauci. President schedules press conference. CDC “unaware.”
BREAKING: Cheech and Chong to replace Dr. Fauci later today. President to address nation. CDC says they were not advised.
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No Coke. Pepsi.
A guy at Costco had a shirt that said “in case of accident my blood type is Coca Cola.” Okay
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Do you want to smash?
I don’t run on the treadmill. I need to hang on. If I run I’m afraid I’ll trip and smash
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I still miss him
I try to practice my rudimentary Spanish around town. I don’t understand a lot, especially if their accent is thick
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No one is taking your freedom
“No one is taking your freedom. You have more freedom than anyone in the history of the world. Be a
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Peegency! Peegency!
Ever have a peegency? A peegency is my word for a pee emergency. And I had a capital ‘P’ Peegency.
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